Free Web NovelChapter 48: Chapter 48: I Would Rather
Chapter 48: I Would Rather
—ARIA—
The carriage wheels rolled steadily across the stone roads while sunlight filtered faintly through the curtains beside me.
Honestly, leaving the estate immediately after that breakfast disaster was probably the best decision I had made all week.
If I remained inside that mansion much longer, I was eventually going to die from stress before fate even managed to publicly execute me.
At this point, survival required strategy.
And distance.
Preferably very far distance.
"I need businesses," I suddenly declared.
Ren blinked across from me.
"...Businesses."
"Yes. Profitable ones." I nodded seriously while leaning back against the carriage seat. "Shops. Establishments. Properties. Anything capable of generating income independently from the Valen Estate."
Ren’s expression slowly became more concerned the longer I spoke.
"My lady," he said carefully, "you are speaking as though you intend to run away."
I immediately pointed at him.
"Run away is such an ugly phrase, Ren."
"Then what phrase would my lady prefer?"
I thought about it deeply for several seconds.
"...Strategic relocation."
"That is still running away."
"No," I argued firmly. "Running away sounds cowardly. Strategic relocation sounds intelligent and emotionally mature."
Ren looked completely unconvinced.
Unfortunately for him, I had already committed to this mentally.
Because the more I thought about it, the clearer everything became.
I could not continue relying entirely on the Valen Estate while trying to survive this cursed storyline. If things truly became dangerous later, if fate cornered me exactly the way the nightmare suggested, then I needed options outside noble society.
Money.
Property.
Influence.
A place to disappear if necessary.
And preferably somewhere very far from the male leads and whatever emotionally unstable plotline kept trying to drag me into nonsense.
I pressed fingers lightly against my temple and sighed.
Honestly, this was probably how rich divorced women started building empires.
Ren watched me quietly for a moment before his expression softened slightly.
"My lady," he said more gently this time, "perhaps you should rest first before making large decisions."
"I have rested enough."
"You were literally revived yesterday."
My mouth opened immediately to argue.
Then closed again.
...
Fair point.
Silence settled briefly inside the carriage afterward, interrupted only by the sound of wheels moving against stone roads.
Then suddenly, my thoughts shifted entirely toward Ren.
Toward the fact that he had been beside me through everything since I arrived in this world.
If Ren had not been with me this entire time, I honestly did not know how long I would have survived already.
And if I truly intended to leave someday...
Then I also needed to think about his future too.
Because I could not selfishly drag him into whatever tragic ending waited for me later.
But I also could not leave him behind in this estate either.
Not after remembering what kind of life he originally came from.
Not after knowing he would likely become nothing more than disposable property again if I disappeared.
The thought bothered me more than expected.
I slowly looked up toward him.
"Ren."
The moment I spoke softly, he visibly straightened.
"Y-Yes, my lady?"
Oh.
Why did he sound nervous?
I blinked before continuing.
"What is your dream?"
Ren looked completely caught off guard.
"...My dream?"
"Yes." I nodded. "What do you actually want?"
He stared at me silently for several seconds like he genuinely did not know how to answer.
Honestly...
That alone made my chest ache slightly.
Because it was probably the first time I had ever asked him something so personal.
"My lady..." he said quietly at last, lowering his gaze slightly. "I wish to remain by your side all my life."
I smiled immediately.
Then shook my head.
"No, that is not what I mean."
Ren blinked.
"I am asking what you want for yourself." I leaned forward slightly. "What do you want to become? What kind of life would make you happy? Things you wish to achieve."
The carriage grew quiet again.
This time much quieter than before.
Ren looked down thoughtfully, his expression unusually conflicted. As though the question itself felt unfamiliar to him.
Then after a long pause, he finally answered.
"...I wish to become someone powerful."
I stared at him, surprised.
Then immediately clapped my hands once.
"Perfect!"
Ren visibly startled.
"I will send you to the academy!"
His eyes widened instantly in horror.
"No, my lady!"
The carriage lurched slightly from how quickly he moved.
Before I could even react properly, Ren had already lowered himself onto one knee in front of me inside the moving carriage, looking genuinely panicked now.
"I do not wish to leave your side," he said immediately.
The desperation in his voice startled me slightly.
I blinked down at him.
"Ren..."
"I mean it," he continued quickly, as though afraid I would dismiss him before he finished speaking. "Please do not send me away."
His hands tightened slightly over his knees. ƒrēewebnoѵёl.cσm
"I do not need power that badly."
The carriage suddenly felt strangely smaller.
I stared at him quietly.
Is he terrified of being separated from me?
"You idiot," I muttered softly.
Ren immediately looked up.
"You think I am trying to abandon you?"
His expression faltered slightly.
I sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Ren, if I truly wanted to get rid of you, I would have done it long ago after all the headaches you cause me."
"...I cause my lady headaches?"
"Yes," I answered immediately. "Constantly. You lecture me like an old man."
"That is because my lady behaves recklessly."
"See? Headache."
I exhaled softly before speaking more seriously this time.
"I am saying this because I want you to have a future too." I paused briefly. "Not just a life spent following me around forever."
Ren’s expression changed subtly afterward.
Then he lowered his gaze again and spoke very softly.
"...But that life already sounds enough for me."
I coughed, dismissing his words and forced the conversation elsewhere.
"Well," I declared weakly, "too bad. I already decided."
Ren looked up at me again immediately.
"My lady..."
"You are going to become powerful," I continued firmly while pointing at him like some noblewoman issuing life-changing decrees inside a moving carriage. "Then afterward, you can help me achieve my dreams too. Wouldn’t that be much better?"
Ren stared at me quietly.
"...Your dreams?"
"Yes."
He hesitated briefly before asking carefully,
"And what exactly is my lady’s dream?"
I leaned back against the carriage seat and answered without shame.
"To live peacefully while being rich."
Then Ren lowered his head slightly like he was trying very hard not to laugh directly in front of me.
"What?" I frowned. "That is a perfectly respectable dream."
"I never said otherwise."
"You judged me all the time."
"I merely think most noble ladies aspire toward something more elegant, maybe honorable?"
I scoffed immediately.
"I want none of that."
"Then where does my lady plan to live peacefully while being rich?"
I fell silent for a moment after the question.
Because the truth was...
There was no reason to tell him.
After all, the future I kept imagining did not actually include Ren beside me. frёewebnoѵēl.com
And somehow, that realization hurt more than I expected.
If fate truly cornered me someday, if things became dangerous enough that I needed to disappear entirely, then Ren could not remain tied to me forever. The moment he continued standing beside me, he would inevitably become involved in whatever destruction followed.
I did not want that for him.
No matter how selfish I could be sometimes, I could not drag Ren toward my ending too.
He deserved more than surviving as someone else’s servant for the rest of his life.
He deserved freedom.
A future built by his own choices rather than chains.
And if leaving someday meant he could finally have that...
Then I would rather endure loneliness than watch him suffer because of me.
So instead of answering honestly, I simply smiled.
Then I laughed softly to ease the growing concern in his expression.
"I will tell you once you return successfully."
