Chapter 31: Chapter 31: All is Well
Chapter 31: All is Well
—CELIA—
Ahhhhhh.
I was so exhausted from crying all night that even blinking felt like physical labor.
My eyes still felt swollen despite the maids practically attacking my face with cold towels earlier this morning, and my head honestly felt stuffed with wet cotton. I genuinely underestimated how emotionally destructive one diary could be.
Who knew reading elegant cursive from a depressed noblewoman could spiritually ruin a person?
I sat quietly inside the carriage with a warm paper bag resting on my lap, holding it with the same care one would hold fragile treasure.
Because right now?
These pastries were carrying my mental stability.
The sweet buttery smell alone already made life feel slightly less tragic.
Outside the carriage windows, the capital continued moving normally beneath the afternoon sun. Merchants shouted from nearby stalls, children ran between crowded streets, and noble carriages rolled past one another with unnecessary elegance.
Meanwhile, I was sitting here trying to recover from an identity crisis through baked goods.
Honestly, priorities.
"You seem to be in a better mood now, my lady," Ren said from across from me.
I immediately looked away and coughed awkwardly.
"Ahem. Well..." I started while trying my best to sound casual, "I haven’t really slept properly because of all the studying."
Which was technically true.
I just carefully excluded the part where I cried hard enough to nearly dehydrate myself after discovering the original owner of this body had one of the most heartbreaking lives imaginable.
Ren studied me quietly for a moment in that observant way of his that honestly made me nervous sometimes.
"You should rest more," he said gently. "You have been pushing yourself too hard lately."
I nodded while slowly pulling a pastry from the paper bag.
The moment I took a bite, my eyes nearly watered again.
Oh my god.
This was incredible.
Maybe emotional recovery truly did begin with carbs.
Ren looked mildly amused watching my expression.
"...Is it good?"
I turned toward him with complete seriousness.
"Ren," I said quietly, "if somebody offered me unimaginable wealth or this pastry right now, I would probably need a minute to think."
That earned a soft laugh from him.
"There you are," he murmured before catching himself.
I blinked.
"...What?"
But Ren immediately looked away afterward like he regretted speaking out loud.
"Nothing, my lady."
Still, I understood what he meant.
There you are, the old me.
Or at least... the version everyone had gotten used to these past few days.
The loud one.
The weird one.
The girl who spoke like noble etiquette personally offended her existence.
Honestly?
I liked that version of me better.
I know I was ridiculous, slightly embarrassing, and one accidental sentence away from causing social disasters at all times, but at least I felt honest.
Unlike these nobles who smiled politely while verbally threatening each other through poetry and tea invitations.
Seriously, aristocrats were terrifying.
I still remembered the first time hearing a noblewoman politely told another woman, "Your dress is quite unique."
At the time, I thought she was complimenting her.
Apparently she was insulting three generations of her bloodline.
How was I supposed to survive people like this?
No wonder Aria lost her mind.
I took another bite of pastry while staring out the carriage window dramatically.
Honestly, if this body completely belonged to me now...
Then the least I could do was live however I wanted.
No more obsessing over male leads.
No more trying to force myself into the original plot.
And absolutely no more men suddenly developing feelings for me out of nowhere like it was a seasonal illness.
I was tired.
Spiritually tired.
Last night, I finally learned the reason why I was brought into this world.
And unfortunately...
I also learned why I probably could not return to my own.
That realization had been sitting inside my chest since morning like a brick wrapped in depression.
At first, I felt frustrated.
Scared too, honestly.
Because no matter how much I tried acting calm about it, this still was not my world.
But after crying hard enough to almost pass away from dehydration, I eventually realized something important.
If this truly was my reality now...
Then the least I could do was finally live properly for myself.
Not Aria, the villainess from the novel.
Not the jealous woman people loved hating.
But the actual me.
The lonely girl hidden behind all that anger and desperation.
The real Aria longed desperately to be loved.
I still remembered her diary so clearly.
The way she wrote about wanting someone to choose her first.
The way she clung to Kaelen because she thought affection could save her from feeling abandoned.
And honestly?
That entire situation sounded emotionally exhausting.
I rubbed my face tiredly.
No.
Absolutely not.
I was not doing that.
I would protect Aria’s heart this time.
Including mine.
No obsessing over men.
No chasing romance.
No staring longingly out windows waiting for emotionally unavailable dukes to notice me dramatically under moonlight.
Disgusting.
I already suffered enough heartbreaks back in my old world.
Never again.
From now on, my priorities were simple.
Magic.
Survival.
Peace.
Bread.
Maybe more bread.
"And if any attractive men attempted approaching me, I would immediately run in the opposite direction like my life depended on it."
I nodded firmly to myself after making that life-changing decision.
Excellent.
Wonderful. freewebnoveℓ.com
Perfect plan.
No romance.
No heartbreak.
No men staring at me intensely under moonlight while saying things that would ruin my peace of mind.
I had already suffered enough through one failed relationship back in my original world. I was not about to repeat the experience inside a fantasy novel where people solved emotional conflict through duels and political scandals.
Absolutely not.
This heart was officially retired.
Permanently closed for maintenance.
Maybe forever.
Beside me, Ren glanced over while holding the small paper bag filled with pastries we had just bought from the bakery. The poor man had been quietly following my strange mood swings all morning without complaint.
Honestly, he deserved compensation.
Preferably financial compensation.
Or therapy.
"Ren," I suddenly called out. frёewebnoѵēl.com
"Yes, my lady?"
I straightened slightly in my seat inside the carriage and looked at him with complete seriousness.
"I have always wanted to own my own boutique and design my own clothes. Is that possible?"
Ren blinked.
The question clearly caught him off guard.
"A boutique...?" he repeated carefully.
"Yes," I said immediately, growing more excited the longer I spoke. "A proper one. Elegant dresses. Modern-inspired designs. Comfortable sleeves. Functional pockets."
I paused dramatically.
"Most importantly," I continued with deep conviction, "clothes people can actually breathe in."
Ren stared at me quietly.
Then his expression shifted slightly with confusion.
"...Are... noble ladies currently unable to breathe?"
My man looked genuinely concerned for half a second before realizing I was being dramatic again.
Haha!
I leaned back against the cushioned seat while crossing my arms confidently.
If I truly planned to survive in this world long-term, then I needed independence.
Real independence.
I needed money.
A stable future.
Something that belonged entirely to me.
Because no matter how kind Duke Valen acted, the estate still did not truly feel like home.
Not after reading Aria’s diary and not after understanding what the place represented to her.
And honestly?
I did not want to spend the rest of my life trapped inside a mansion where every hallway carried someone else’s grief.
I wanted freedom.
A peaceful commoner life honestly sounded amazing.
I could absolutely thrive like that.