I Am Diagnosed as a Medical Titan

Chapter 7: Chapter 7: The Art of the Marketing Account

Sunset.

Jiang He put down his pen.

He had spent the entire day reviewing all the core courses for his third year.

He had thought it would be a simple review, but to his surprise, he found it genuinely rewarding.

In his previous life, he’d spent twenty years struggling through clinical practice. All the cases he encountered were complex and varied, which often made him overlook the most fundamental pathological mechanisms.

Now, looking back at these basic theories from the perspective of a top-tier doctor, many concepts automatically connected with images of surgeries in his mind.

He had gained quite a lot.

Jiang He efficiently cleared his desk, stacking the borrowed books neatly and shoving his notebook into his backpack.

"Leaving?" asked Cheng Xiyao, who was sitting across from him.

"Yeah," Jiang He replied. "I’m done reviewing."

Cheng Xiyao bit her lip and said, "Um... are you hungry? Do you want to go grab a bite together?"

When Jiang He didn’t answer right away, she quickly added, "Actually... I’m quite interested in what you and Lu Xiaolin were talking about this morning. I spent a long time looking it up myself, but I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. If you’re willing, could you explain it to me?"

Jiang He glanced down at the time and said politely, "Sorry, I have something to do tonight. Next time, for sure."

"Oh, okay..." She gave a slightly awkward smile. "Then you go ahead. It’s fine."

"Yeah. See you."

Jiang He nodded and turned to leave.

Cheng Xiyao watched him leave so decisively, sitting there in a daze.

’This feeling of being rejected... It’s something I’m not used to.’

...

「After leaving the library.」

Jiang He dialed Chen Hao’s number.

"At the internet cafe?" Jiang He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Feiyu Internet Cafe on the back street! Old Jiang, you’ve finally seen the light, huh? Hurry up! I’m at computer 32. Get online! The guild is going all-out against Mulu in the Sun Well tonight. Our main healer disconnected, and we’re waiting for a strong healer like you to save us!"

"Okay, I’ll be right there."

After hanging up, Jiang He left the campus and cut through a small alley.

The alley was lined with a full range of amenities: supermarkets, pharmacies, clinics—it had everything.

Feiyu Internet Cafe was located deep in the alley, its entrance crowded with parked bicycles.

He went upstairs and walked to the front desk.

"Boss, I need a computer. The one next to number 32."

"Ten yuan for the deposit, two yuan an hour." freēwēbηovel.c૦m

"Put it on number 32’s tab."

"Alright."

After tapping a few keys on the keyboard, the owner tossed him a small slip of paper with a password written on it.

Jiang He took the paper and turned, walking into the smoky, foul-smelling main computer room.

In 2008, the air quality in internet cafes was a serious concern.

As he walked past the front row, a guy took a sharp drag from his cigarette, only to choke and start coughing.

After he finished coughing, he pounded his chest twice with his fist, muttered a curse, and put his hands back on the keyboard.

Jiang He’s steps faltered for a moment.

’That typical tall and lanky build, combined with the state of his lungs from long-term smoking and staying up late... Medically speaking, he’s in a high-risk group for spontaneous pneumothorax.’

’A violent cough could easily rupture the bullae on the surface of his lungs.’

’He’s literally trading his life for this...’

Jiang He shook his head and found Chen Hao.

Chen Hao was in the middle of yelling, "Dispel! Dispel, you mage! For fuck’s sake, do you even know how to Polymorph?!"

Seeing Jiang He sit down, Chen Hao took a moment from his frantic playing to turn his head and grin. "You’re here? Quick, quick, queue up and log in!"

Jiang He turned on the computer.

The classic Windows XP desktop with its blue sky and white clouds appeared on the screen.

He logged into QQ and opened QQ Space.

"Huh? You’re not logging into the game?" Chen Hao glanced over, confused. "What are you opening QQ Space for? Whose profile are you gonna ’step on’?"

"Just taking care of something. You go on and play."

Of course, Jiang He hadn’t come to the internet cafe to play games.

He was here for Shen Yu.

Right now, Shen Yu was thousands of miles away, and her lifestyle habits were a complete mess.

If he called her directly and said, "Don’t stay up late, eat less sugar, or you’ll get cancer~," she would just think he was being ridiculous...

For a girl her age, dry medical advice was far less convincing than the pseudoscientific nonsense that went viral on QQ Space.

Jiang He planned to become a master of clickbait accounts in this wild-west era of the 2008 internet and influence her indirectly.

He opened his journal, created a new entry, and typed out the title:

"SHOCKING! The Secret 99% of Girls Don’t Know! Eating Sweets Can Lead to THIS! You’ll Regret It For Life If You Don’t Read This!"

To increase its credibility, he even changed the font to bold, bright red.

The body of the article was pure hyperbole:

"A new study from Harvard University in the United States shows that excessive sugar intake not only ruins your skin and causes acne, but it also makes you dumber!"

"This is especially true for girls who are Pisces, Cancer, or Scorpio! Staying up late and eating sugar is a guaranteed recipe for ruining your looks!"

"For the sake of those you love and those who love you, please lift a finger and let more people see this! If you don’t share, you’re not a true citizen of China! [Heart][Heart][Heart]"

Next, he found a few blurry, scary-looking pictures of skin diseases and pasted them into the article.

They were actually pictures of allergic dermatitis, but who could tell the difference back then?

And just like that, a standard, viral-worthy health-and-wellness clickbait article from 2008 was born.

Click. Publish.

But he wasn’t done yet.

He quickly switched to another alternate account, changed the name to Zodiac Little Witch, and set the profile picture to a crystal ball.

Then he went to Shen Yu’s QQ Space message board and wrote in that flashy, non-mainstream "Martian" script:

"Heyyy, stoppin’ by~! Did u read ur horoscope 4 2day? Cancers hav 2 watch their health this week, ’specially wut they eat, or there’s gonna be big trouble! [Scared][Scared]"

Beside him.

Chen Hao had just suffered a total party wipe.

Staring at his grayed-out screen, he took off his headphones and was about to light a cigarette to ease his frustration.

When he turned his head, he happened to see the article on Jiang He’s screen.

Chen Hao: "?"

He looked utterly baffled. "Old Jiang, what the hell is this stuff you’re writing?"

"You wouldn’t understand."

Jiang He closed the page, opened a new document, and continued writing his clickbait articles...

Doing this stuff on a phone was inconvenient, and he didn’t want to come to the internet cafe every time.

So, he would write a few more now, save them on his phone, and post them whenever he needed to in the future.

"I really don’t know what to say to you..."

Chen Hao finally shook his head and said, "Old Jiang, what you’re doing right now is just so... cringey!"

Jiang He ignored his commentary.

He stared at the penguin icon in the bottom-right corner of the screen.

’Right now, Shen Yu should have just finished her evening self-study session. She’s probably hiding under her covers, playing on her phone, right?’

...

「North Normal University, Girls’ Dormitory.」

Shen Yu had just finished showering. Her hair wasn’t completely dry yet, and it gave off the pleasant scent of shampoo.

She sat cross-legged on her bed, happily munching on a cream puff her roommate had brought for her.

"Mmm... this is delicious. I’ll have to buy two more tomorrow."

She said with a smile, then logged into QQ and started scrolling through her QQ Space feed.

The very first post was the journal entry from Jiang He.

Shen Yu thought for a moment.

’Isn’t this the kind person who found my meal card yesterday?’

"He posted a journal entry?"

Curious, Shen Yu clicked on it.

A few seconds later.

The cream puff in her mouth suddenly lost its flavor.

"Eating sweets... makes you dumber? And ruins your looks?"

Shen Yu stared at the shocking images on the screen and subconsciously touched her own face.

She scrolled down further.

When she saw the five words, "Cancers should be especially careful," Shen Yu couldn’t sit still any longer.

She looked at the remaining half of the cream puff in her hand, hesitating.

"Could this be why I’ve been breaking out lately?"

To eat, or not to eat? That is the question, a question worth pondering...

She tentatively raised the cream puff to her lips and sniffed its sweet aroma.

’If I just pretend I never saw that post, it’ll be fine, right?’

’But... what if I get dumber and can’t pass the CET-4 exam?’

After a fierce internal battle that lasted a full five seconds.

Shen Yu squeezed her eyes shut in grief and indignation, stuck her hand out of her mosquito net, and yelled to her roommate on the bottom bunk, who was currently wearing a face mask:

"Juan’er! Catch!"

Her roommate on the bottom bunk was taken aback. "What is it?"

"The cream puff! It’s all yours!" Shen Yu’s voice carried the grim determination of a warrior cutting off their own limb. "Take it! Quick! Eat it before I change my mind!"

Roommate: "???"

Roommate: "Didn’t you just say this was your lifeblood?"

"Don’t ask. We had a good run."

Shen Yu didn’t even dare to open her eyes for one last look at the tempting cream. She quickly pulled her hand back and wrapped herself tightly in her blanket.

’That was too scary.’

’The outside world is too dangerous.’

After calming herself down, she picked up her phone again.

Beneath Jiang He’s journal entry, she carefully typed out a reply:

[You’re a lifesaver, OP! You scared me to death... Good thing I stopped myself just in time! [Crying][Crying] Orz!]