Free Web NovelChapter 82: Terror! The Urethra Expansion Sub-Quest Progress Keeps Rising
First of all, aren’t sub-quests usually things like "deliver a bento," "gather medicinal herbs," or "collect monster pelts"?
There’s also a list of completed sub-quests, but those are basically just records of my memories and actions. Nothing particularly interesting there.
It looks like I can view detailed information, so I’ll just casually check them one by one.
The failed sub-quests are ridiculous. I really failed at the most worthless stuff.
Especially this one: ’Become a breeding stallion in Umanko Forest’ at 50% completion. What the hell does that even mean? What kind of actions raised the percentage that much? If I had mounted that other "umanko" instead of Iferaski at the very beginning, would my life have gone down a completely different route?
Let’s see... Sub-quest details... there.
Witness another "umanko" urinating.
Name the golden-colored piss "Gold Shikko."
Give it the nickname "Gorushi."
Fulfilling these conditions would apparently lead me to the "Atsumarou Umanko Forest" and trigger the breeding stallion route. Is "Atsumarou Umanko Forest" a combination of "Let’s Gather" and "Umanko Forest"? On the quest progress screen it’s missing one "u," making it look like "Let’s Gather" + "Manko Forest." Probably a bug.
Well, there’s no point thinking about "what ifs" and "if onlys" now.
Let’s check the other failed sub-quests.
・Defeat the Demon King with starting equipment and without changing any gear (Completion Rate 1%)
This one’s brutal. Isn’t this for masochists who want to do hardcore difficulty loop runs? I started completely naked, so I’d probably get stuck at the first village or the next town. Besides, is there even any meaning to clearing this quest?
Let’s see the reward... Obtaining the title "Masturbation Master" and "A golden statue of Masaharu (fully nude, fountain) will be built in the royal capital." Yeah, I don’t need that... It’s definitely going to be one of those little pissing boy statues where water sprays out from the crotch, ending with a "golden water" pun, right?
If mineral-rich, whitened groundwater started flowing out from the statue’s crotch, it would be a total disaster.
・Fuck the big-titted, droopy-eyed shrine maiden’s ass (Completion Rate 75%)
This one hurts so bad. I was so close to putting it in Raffilia-san’s ass? She kept passing out over and over—should I have just shoved it in during one of those moments? Or maybe rammed a super thick dildo into her ass?
This is seriously frustrating... If there’s a second playthrough of my isekai life, I’m definitely going to insert it.
Let’s check the details...
Due to the thickness of Raffilia-san’s ass meat, my erect cock length could only achieve 75% insertion... So that’s what the 75% completion meant! Even if I tried to put it into that massive ass, the meat would block me and my shaft wouldn’t go all the way in?!
・Accept Jalda’s invitation and revive the Ouma Kingdom (Completion Rate 5%)
Jalda’s case couldn’t be helped. She gave me a note saying "After sunset. North castle gate," but I prioritized freeing the beastman slaves and left it alone. Besides, I’m not even the king of Ouma Kingdom... The reward of a "big-titted beauty harem" was a bit of a shame, but since I also like small breasts, the damage is minimal.
I guess those are the main failed sub-quests that caught my attention. Even though they failed, it doesn’t mean I’ll never get another chance to fuck Raffilia-san’s ass, so I’ll try not to dwell on it. I just need to extend my dick length by another 25%... Yeah, that hurdle is insanely high.
Anyway, let’s check the in-progress sub-quests.
・Go to Marglant and reunite with Ilia (Completion Rate 60%)
It’s progressed more than I expected. I didn’t do anything specific to reunite with Ilia, but if I hire someone or buy a map, I should be able to complete it pretty quickly. The problem is I still don’t have any money, so I need to figure that out.
Since Iferaski went berserk, Ilia might be worried about me and could still be searching. I want to clear this sub-quest as soon as possible.
I ended up leaving the prize money from the status exam with the slave trader. Even though I was deceived and nearly killed, slave trading itself seems to be legal in this country, so I figured not paying would be unacceptable.
・Return the long robe to gatekeeper A (Completion Rate 80%)
According to Anna-san, A has already been issued a new robe, and the one I’m wearing was given to me. So if I just go thank him for lending it, that should complete it.
This one will probably be done tomorrow.
・Fuck Anna’s little sister Elsa’s ass (Completion Rate 5%)
This one... What should I do? This basically means that if I progress the sub-quest, anal sex with her is guaranteed, right? As someone who loves anal, I definitely want to clear it, but her little sister is at the border with the enemy country. It sounds dangerous, and it’ll probably spawn new sub-quests...
I’m the type who doesn’t clear sub-quests the moment they appear, but saves them for when I need levels or money during the main story. So I want to put this one on hold.
Now, the remaining two sub-quests are the real problem.
・Burn the Elf Forest (Completion Rate 5%)
What the hell is this? I have to burn the Elf Forest? Me?
I have zero intention of doing something so horrible...
Let’s check the details. Hmm...
I see. The sub-quest started because I rescued the elf who was captured by the slave trader. But why burn the forest? Shouldn’t I be protecting the forest that’s about to be burned and building an elf harem instead?
・Stop the demon Garugra’s scheme (Completion Rate 3%)
...?
This one makes no sense either. Why is this sub-quest even in progress?
When did I ever get involved with demons?
Let’s view the details.
Participated in the status exam and became acquainted with the demon Garugra disguised as a human (Completed)
Achieved excellent results in the status exam and astonished the demon Garugra (Completed)
Conversed with the demon Garugra (Completed)
Listened to demon Garugra talk about skill standards (Completed)
Raised favorability with demon Garugra (Completed)
I’m already acquainted with the demon Garugra.
The person who fulfilled these conditions is...
Raiden, it’s youuuu!
Youuuu... youuuu... (brain echo)
This is clearly Raiden doing his solo commentary, isn’t it?!
What the hell? He said his identity was a secret, but it got completely exposed through the quest progress screen!
He did say he took the status exam in the royal capital, and he seems to have some kind of mind-reading skill. Was he gathering information for the human side?
If more sub-quests branch off and a Demon King subjugation quest appears, I’ll be in trouble. I should ignore Raiden for now. If I sense he’s about to show up in the future, I’ll just run away.
I’ve learned what I wanted to know, and also learned things I didn’t want to know. That’s enough. I closed the quest progress screen.
"How was it?"
"I kind of understand now why fortune-tellers don’t read their own futures."
"What do you mean?"
"Well... It feels like your way of life gets decided for you... Living without knowing anything is more fun, I think."
"I don’t really get it."
"I’m at risk of having my urethra dug into by a dick-sized fairy... It was in the list of available sub-quests..."
"Sounds amazing..."
"Amazing?! Having my urethra expanded is terrifying!"
"But the kemololi girls had their urethras expanded." freēwēbηovel.c૦m
"That was medical treatment..."
"The kemololi girls worked hard, you know? Masaharu should work hard too!"
Ugh. Lucia, who was lying face-down on top of me, had an incredibly bright smile.
Under the blue glow of the moonlight, this goddess was smiling so ethereally and beautifully while telling me to get my urethra expanded! The situation and the dialogue were completely mismatched!
Ding.
"Eh?"
A notification sound rang inside my head.
What now?
The quest progress management app I had just closed popped up in front of me again.
New Sub-Quest Started
Have your urethra dug into by a dick-sized fairy (Completion Rate 20%)
I must be seeing things.
I’m not seeing things!
"Nooooooo!"
"W-what’s wrong?"
When I flailed my arms and legs, Lucia rolled off me.
"The urethra expansion sub-quest got accepted and it’s already at 20%!"
"Ah..."
"Ah?! What do you mean ’ah’?!"
"I’m a goddess, so my words carry power... I told you to work hard at getting your dick dug into, so... Ah. I just said it again, so the progress might go up again."
"N-no way... C-can you cancel it?"
"No good. If I change fate too many times in a short period, the god who governs fate will get angry..."
"No way..."
"It’s okay. Even if your urethra becomes super loose, I won’t stop liking you, Masaharu."
"Lucia..."
Ding.
Have your urethra dug into by a dick-sized fairy (Completion Rate 80%)
"Nooooooooo! The progress went up again! Stop this brain notification! Close the sub-quest management app skill!"
"O-okay..."
"80% is seriously dangerous. The moment I encounter a fairy, she’s going to shove her arm into my urethra... I knew it. Seeing the quest progress was a mistake. It ruins your life. I’m never thinking about this again."
This is bad.
I have to somehow make the sub-quest "Have your urethra dug into by a dick-sized fairy" fail.
"Oh, right."
Lucia, who seemed to have thought of something, sat up.
She looked at me with eyes that said "Praise me, I had a great idea."
"What is it?"
"Today, I’ll be the one to masturbate you, Masaharu."
She’ll masturbate me?
