Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever
Harry Potter: Most Annoying System Ever
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SUMMARY
Reborn as the sarcastic, black-haired twin of Draco Malfoy, Orion had a simple plan: ignore the pureblood politics, torment his father with logic, and push magic to its absolute breaking point.
When a blue screen popped up on his eleventh birthday, he thought he’d hit the jackpot. A System? In a magical world? It was the ultimate cheat code.
At least, until it spoke.
Enter Sparkle: a sentient, sarcastic, and aggressively unhelpful “System” who refuses to give him quests, stats, or a manual. Instead, she demands he “live his life” and stumble blindly into obscure conditions to unlock rewards ranging from useless Gobstones to legendary Phoenix Tears.
Now, Orion must navigate Hogwarts with a brother who has more hair gel than brain cells and a voice in his head that treats his life like a reality TV show. He doesn't want to be a hero; he just wants to figure out if setting a mountain troll on fire counts as an achievement.
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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any characters in this fanfic, except for the idea of this fanfic story. I have no intention of monetizing this story, nor any intention of enforcing a copyright infringement.
6 Latest Chapters[ Updated 3 hours ago ]
- Chapter 237: The Corridors of Envy and The Financial Threat
- Chapter 236: The Relaxed Approach and The Perfect Preparation
- Chapter 235: The Medaled Celebrity and The Efficient Division of Labor
- Chapter 234: The Recall and The Missing Mastermind
- Chapter 233: The Scheduled Sync and The Return to the Dungeons
- Chapter 232: The Morning After and The Mirror Image
Chapter List
- Chapter 1: The Longest Decade
- Chapter 2: The Uselessness of Digital Gods
- Chapter 3: Pancakes, Propaganda, and the Failure of Telekinesis
- Chapter 4: The Perils of Education and Flying Paperweights
- Chapter 5: Digital Trash and The Interdimensional Labor Union
- Chapter 6: The Art of Social Theater
- Chapter 7: The Reluctant Wand
- Chapter 8: The War of the Wood and the stupidity of Poker
- Chapter 9: The Entropy Machine and the Month of Long Suffering
- Chapter 10: The Bureaucracy of Owls and the Art of Embezzlement
- Chapter 11: Gold, Goblins, and the Stick of Destiny
- Chapter 12: The Thunderous Core and The Niffler Protocol
- Chapter 13: The Deputy Headmistress, The Dark Shop, and The Cabinet of Curiosities
- Chapter 14: The Cabinet, The Trunk, and The Beacon of Sanity
- Chapter 15: The Moonwalking Witch and the Peacock Grip
- Chapter 16: The Art of Efficient Travel and The Slytherin Philosophy
- Chapter 17: The Pug, The Punch, and The Pre-Hogwarts Brawl
- Chapter 18: The Castle, The Squid, and The First Glimpse of Home
- Chapter 19: The Sorting and The Slytherin Section
- Chapter 20: Slytherin or Not Slytherin?
- Chapter 21: The Serpent’s Den and the Unedited Truth
- Chapter 22: The Tabby Cat Conspiracy
- Chapter 23: The 300-Point Strategy and The Potions Master’s Theater
- Chapter 24: The Council of Educators and The Tabby Cat Incident
- Chapter 25: The Physics of a Falling Longbottom
- Chapter 26: The Remembrall and the Golden Boy’s Plot Armor
- Chapter 27: The Problem with Plot Armor and the Conjuration Ceiling
- Chapter 28: Tea with a Giant and the Seeker that Wasn’t
- Chapter 29: The Meat Shield and The Headmaster’s Wards
- Chapter 30: The Politics of Bias and The Perfume of Decay
- Chapter 31: The Alibi and the Art of Distraction
- Chapter 32: The Clash of Titans and The Stench of Victory
- Chapter 33: The Kaiju Aftermath and the Gift of Tongues
- Chapter 34: The Art of Information Control and The Political Fuse
- Chapter 35: The Headmaster’s Gambit
- Chapter 36: The Phoenix’s Critique and The Smokescreen Strategy
- Chapter 37: The Consequences of Competence and The Plot Vacuum
- Chapter 38: The Failure of Avis and the Leeches in the Library
- Chapter 39: The Apology and the Accidental Coming Out Party
- Chapter 40: The Construct of Life and the Silence of the Birds
- Chapter 41: The Hollow Shell and The Rubber Duck Theory
- Chapter 42: The Ghost in the Machine and The Heist of the Century
- Chapter 43: The Three-Headed Debate and The Lingering Lure
- Chapter 44: The Pink Peril and the Unseen War
- Chapter 45: Operation Strix and The Elf Who Saved the World
- Chapter 46: The Cold logic of a Loot Goblin and The Winter Departure
- Chapter 47: The Great Escape and The Weight of Heritage
- Chapter 48: The Stress Test and The Impossibility of Fairness
- Chapter 49: Feline Fancies and The Minister’s Villa
- Chapter 50: The Empty Chair and The Mirror’s New Home
- Chapter 51: The Gala of Masks and The Missing Seeker
- Chapter 52: The Statue Bird and The Shadow of March
- Chapter 53: The Missing Rat and The Puppet in the Common Room
- Chapter 54: The Gauntlet and The To-Do List
- Chapter 55: The Incompetent Auror and the Physics of Summoning
- Chapter 56: The Gryffindor Slump and The Illicit Egg
- Chapter 57: The Pedagogical Hijack and The Transfigured Decoy
- Chapter 58: The Great Norwegian Ridge-Rooster
- Chapter 59: The Pariahs of Gryffindor and The Absurdity of Protagonist Logic
- Chapter 60: The Flute, The Fall, and The Inventory Cheat Code
- Chapter 61: The Sequence Break and The Sleeping Giant
- Chapter 62: The Bluff, The Mirror, and The Final Boss
- Chapter 63: The Plastic Chair Villain and The Decoy Protocol
- Chapter 64: The Delusions of a Hero and The Handover
- Chapter 65: The Loot Box Bonanza and The Foundation of the Mind
- Chapter 66: The Midnight Council and The Black Heritage
- Chapter 67: The Morning After and The Weight of a Thank You
- Chapter 68: The Burden of Guilt and The Mathematics of Fairness
- Chapter 69: The Arithmetic of Heroism and The Seven-Hundred-Point Checkmate
- Chapter 70: The Victor’s Carriage and The End of the Year One
- Chapter 71: The Summer Lull and The Paradigm of the Self
- Chapter 72: The Anticlimactic Godhood and The Merlin Grimoire
- Chapter 73: The Tapestry of Will and The Summer Project
- Chapter 74: The Excavation and The Enigma of Elf-Craft
- Chapter 75: The Hydrology of Magic and The Summer Sanctuary
- Chapter 76: The Aquatic Rent-Seeker and The Diary Protocol
- Chapter 77: The Politics of Obstruction and The Pay-To-Win Strategy
- Chapter 78: The Silent Aunt and The Auror’s Ambition
- Chapter 79: The Definition of Family and The Broken Constellation
- Chapter 80: The Bookstore Brawl and The Gold-Digging Pet
- Chapter 81: The Candy Heist and The Heroic Outlaw
- Chapter 82: The Furry Loophole and The Hypocrite’s Warning
- Chapter 83: The Pocket Dimension and The Missing Gryffindors
- Chapter 84: The Banter of Death and The Empty Chairs
- Chapter 85: The Shiny Trap and The Spider Precedent
- Chapter 86: The Burrow on the Stand and The Public Shaming
- Chapter 87: The Architecture of Thought and The Meritocracy of Flight
- Chapter 88: The Golden Ticket and the Librarian’s Dragon
- Chapter 89: The Slug-Eating Spell and The Poverty of Vocabulary
- Chapter 90: The Edge of the Wild and The Modest Foray
- Chapter 91: The Aesthetics of Intent and The Serpent’s Disarm
- Chapter 92: The Audio Ghost and The Spider-Man Failure
- Chapter 93: The Twilight Stroll and The Headmaster’s Inquiry
- Chapter 94: The Philosophy of Restraint and The Eve of Halloween
- Chapter 95: The Echoes of the Past and The Illusion of Danger
- Chapter 96: The Bloody Message and The Escalation of Threat
- Chapter 97: The Echo Chamber and The Flaws of Hogwarts Logic
- Chapter 98: The Rogue Bludger and The Limitations of Hardware
- Chapter 99: The Echoes of Failure and The Redirection of a Rogue Elf
- Chapter 100: The Five Stages of Draco and The Auditory Arsenal
- Chapter 101: The Dueling Club and The Heavy Metal Aria
- Chapter 102: The Theatrical Duel and The Boss Fight Aesthetics
- Chapter 103: The Grappling Match and The Feral Slytherin
- Chapter 104: The Aura Check and the Value of Two Galleons
- Chapter 105: The Escalation of Paranoia and The Chosen Villain
- Chapter 106: The Bureaucratic Counter-Strike and The Portrait’s Pearl
- Chapter 107: The Christmas Haul and The Game of Suspects
- Chapter 108: The Decoy Heir and The Polyjuice Fumble
- Chapter 109: The Polyjuice Interrogation and the Flaws of Deduction
- Chapter 110: The Neko-Granger and The Reconnaissance Mission
- Chapter 111: The Christmas Haul and The Animal Within
- Chapter 112: The Nightmares of Draco and The Citrus Bribe
- Chapter 113: The Paranoia Test and The Vigil of the Diary
- Chapter 114: The Welcome Back Dinner and The Reality Check
- Chapter 115: The Giant’s Crossbow and The Apple in the Woods
- Chapter 116: The Midnight Snack and The Nargles’ Persistence
- Chapter 117: The Distraction of Compassion and The Hiss in the Plumbing
- Chapter 118: The Snake in the Walls and The Loophole of Apparition
- Chapter 119: The Omniscient Spectacles and The Meat Upgrade
- Chapter 120: The Secret Admirer and The Disappearance of Shoes
- Chapter 121: The Reign of the Stalker and The Nargle Outbreak
- Chapter 122: The Architecture of Belief and The Room of Requirement
- Chapter 123: The Locked Tower and The Invitation to the Office
- Chapter 124: The Deductions of a Charms Master and The Omission of Harm
- Chapter 125: The Architecture of Evidence and The Charms Master’s Mercy
- Chapter 126: The Firewhiskey Confessional and The Elf Network
- Chapter 127: The Side Quest Concludes and The Avian Artillery
- Chapter 128: The Failed Screenplay and The Valentine’s Spectacle
- Chapter 129: The Mechanical Flaw and The Hissing Prerequisite
- Chapter 130: The Standoff and The Accidental Power Creep
- Chapter 131: The Alibi of Logic and The Truth of the Chamber
- Chapter 132: The Logic of the Unexpected and The Tactical Retreat
- Chapter 133: The Anatomy of a Myth and The Missing Pieces
- Chapter 134: The Refusal of Retreat and The Ministry’s Arrival
- Chapter 135: The Ministry’s Arrival and The Anatomy of a Myth
- Chapter 136: The Ministry Vanguard and The Clumsy Recruit
- Chapter 137: The Battlefield Assessment and The Stairs of Slytherin
- Chapter 138: The Wards, The Architecture, and The Echo of Pranks Past
- Chapter 139: The Deployment and The Awakening of the Beast
- Chapter 140: The Roosters’ Crow and The Final Thrash
- Chapter 141: The Underwhelming Lair and The Final Verdict
- Chapter 142: The Ascent and The Debriefing of Shadows
- Chapter 143: The Bureaucracy of Monsters and The Harvesting Rights
- Chapter 144: The Post-Battle Scavenge and The Cloak of Invisibility
- Chapter 145: The Midnight Harvest and The Barren Vault
- Chapter 146: The Late Awakening and The Trash-Tier Treasure Trove
- Chapter 147: The Arsenal and The Curse of the Halo
- Chapter 148: The Item Duplicator and The Heavy Crown
- Chapter 149: The Hall of Whispers and The Serpentine Toll
- Chapter 150: The Chamber of Bureaucracy and The Unrecognized Toad
- Chapter 151: The Definition of Underling and The Decoy Brother
- Chapter 152: The Public Announcement and The Second Descent
- Chapter 153: The Loony Encounter and The Press Junket
- Chapter 154: The Under-the-Bus Woman and The Public Acknowledgment of Defeat
- Chapter 155: The Descent, The Decorum, and The Slytherin Crusaders
- Chapter 156: The Aragog Exoneration and The Political Checkmate
- Chapter 157: The Art of Forgery and The Returned Hallow
- Chapter 158: The Carcass Shipped and The Attention Deficit
- Chapter 159: The Apology and The Anatomy of the Halo
- Chapter 160: The Morning Edition and The Front Page Villain
- Chapter 161: The Distraction of Draco and The Parental Interrogation
- Chapter 162: The Panic of the Patriarch and The Deflection of Blame
- Chapter 163: The Tamed Beast and The Blueprint of Chaos
- Chapter 164: The Daily Prophet’s Silence and The Suffering from Success
- Chapter 165: The Plunder Arrives and The Giant’s Embrace
- Chapter 166: The Aura of Acceptance and The Stolen Story
- Chapter 167: The Price of Karma and The Favor Earned
- Chapter 168: The Mechanics of Exposure and The Portrait Heist
- Chapter 169: The Burnt Borders and The Coercion of Canvas
- Chapter 170: The Room of Recreations and The Fabricated Confession
- Chapter 171: The Projection Spell and The Stage is Set
- Chapter 172: The Holographic Heist and The Aurors’ Mandate
- Chapter 173: The Late-Night Summons and The Lumos Defense
- Chapter 174: The Curriculum of Curses and The Dark Lord’s Application
- Chapter 175: The Fall of a Fraud and The Mental Fortification
- Chapter 176: The Elective Choice and The Healing Draft
- Chapter 177: The Arbitration of Points and The Double Award
- Chapter 178: The Ride Home and The Architect’s Rest
- Chapter 179: The Work Begins and The Emancipation Protocol
- Chapter 180: The Rant, The Runic Alignment, and The S.P.E.W. Fallacy
- Chapter 181: The Apples of Transport and The Royal Restoration
- Chapter 182: The Photo in Egypt and The Escapee’s Shadow
- Chapter 183: The Birthday Blues and The Plastic Waterpark
- Chapter 184: The Muggle Epiphany and The Shield of Light
- Chapter 185: The Elusive Guardian and The Potion of Forms
- Chapter 186: The White Avatar and The Definition of Handsome
- Chapter 187: The Secret Form and The Poolside Swan
- Chapter 188: The Trust Fall and The Dementor Briefing
- Chapter 189: The Potterhead and The Frozen Breath
- Chapter 190: The Shadow at the Door and The Wolf in the Corridor
- Chapter 191: The Thestral Carriage and The Boy Who Fainted
- Chapter 192: The Four-Year Plan and The End of Patience
- Chapter 193: The Pink Umbrella and The Proud Hippogriff
- Chapter 194: The Apology to the Avian Lord and The Time-Traveling Scholar
- Chapter 195: The Wardrobe’s Secret and The Fear Revealed
- Chapter 196: The Private Session and The Face of Fear
- Chapter 197: The Shadow of the Greater Good and The Butterfly Effect
- Chapter 198: The Santa Claus Illusion and The Werewolf’s Warning
- Chapter 199: The Misunderstood Creatures and The Anticlimactic Silence
- Chapter 200: The Miniature Headmaster and The Strategy of Silence
- Chapter 201: The Rodent Requisition and The Guinea Pig
- Chapter 202: The Successful Transit and The Exoneration Protocol
- Chapter 203: The Feline Accomplice and The Sisterly Confrontation
- Chapter 204: The Confrontation and The Testimony of Meows
- Chapter 205: The Rat Awakens and The Ghost of the Past
- Chapter 206: The Map’s Secret and The March to the Headmaster
- Chapter 207: The Improvisation and The Unveiling of the Rat
- Chapter 208: The Fabricated Genius and The Worse Than a Basilisk
- Chapter 209: The Traitor Unmasked and The Godfather’s Shadow
- Chapter 210: The Coward’s Confession and The Logic of Vengeance
- Chapter 211: The Arrival of the Authorities and The Shattered Illusion
- Chapter 212: The Second Scandal and The Malfoy Leverage
- Chapter 213: The Political Trump Card and The Canine Lure
- Chapter 214: The Letter and The Promise of 9:00 AM
- Chapter 215: The Negotiation and The Trump Card
- Chapter 216: The Political Calculus and The Assumed Victory
- Chapter 217: The Bureaucratic Grind and The Proxy Representation
- Chapter 218: The First Class Announcement and The Ministry’s Blessing
- Chapter 219: The Passing Storm and The Impending Conversation
- Chapter 220: The Santa Claus Boggart and The Headmaster’s Peace
- Chapter 221: The Sibling’s Pride and The Lakeside Secret
- Chapter 222: The Pet Swan and The Bizarre Request
- Chapter 223: The Morning Preparation and The Minister’s Office
- Chapter 224: The Ascent to the Podium and The Green Ribbon
- Chapter 225: The Emerald Ribbon and The Price of Chaos
- Chapter 226: The Ceiling Cherub and The Godmother’s Identity
- Chapter 227: The Ironclad Contract and The Black Madness
- Chapter 228: The Godson’s Dilemma and The Tier 1 Haul
- Chapter 229: The Sweater of Horrors and The Liquid Luck
- Chapter 230: The Aura of a Lord and The Perfect Alibi
- Chapter 231: The Victor Timely Anomaly
- Chapter 232: The Morning After and The Mirror Image
- Chapter 233: The Scheduled Sync and The Return to the Dungeons
- Chapter 234: The Recall and The Missing Mastermind
- Chapter 235: The Medaled Celebrity and The Efficient Division of Labor
- Chapter 236: The Relaxed Approach and The Perfect Preparation
- Chapter 237: The Corridors of Envy and The Financial Threat