Free Web Novel“Podo?”
...
“Why aren’t you answering. I’m dying to know about that talk show your friend Brown is running.”
It feels like I’m showering in cold sweat, with no way this body could be holding up.
[Oh. Looks like you caught the live broadcast this time. Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to use this opportunity to meet the audience in person!]
[However, I must say, clinging to my cotton-stuffed body like this seems a bit excessive. Of course, bearing the passion of fans is my fate, but would you kindly let me down, friend?]
Yeah, I really am sweating cold.
“Oh, is this how you do it? Nice to meet you, kids! I’m Brown!”
[Good heavens.]
“Agent.”
Agent Cheongdong snatched the rabbit plush away from Choi Agent, who had been mimicking Brown’s voice.
But he handled it like he was carrying a bomb, and carefully set it down on the main floor.
[Hm. This isn’t bad at all!]
Wait—he’d even laid out a silk handkerchief on the floor.
And on top of it, arranged blue pebbles into a circular warding diagram, setting Brown right in the middle.
Anyone could see it was the kind of makeshift rite to soothe or restrain a malign influence....
Then he looked straight at me.
“......”
...
His eyes looked like they could pierce through me. No—
How did he know?
The Black Tortoise 1 Team agents weren’t even supposed to know Brown’s Midnight Talk Show existed.
And even if they did, to make the leap of connecting it with my rabbit plush Brown was a ridiculous stretch...
Not to mention that the latest live broadcast had officially been hosted by Section Chief Lee Jahaeon!
Is this just a probe?
For now, I’d better play dumb and dodge....
“Podo, I can hear your brain grinding from here.”
Damn it.
“...Guess we’ll move, then.”
The Black Tortoise 1 Team agents stood without another word, tapped some device, and carried Brown and me out.
I could sense the intent—moving Brown away from the SDRA headquarters just in case, to isolate him before anything broke out.
Not a single word was exchanged during the transfer....
Well, except for one line when I reached out to pick up Brown.
“Hands off.”
Yes, sir....
The one consolation was that the agents never tried to harm or neutralize Brown.
They just carried the plush with extreme caution, almost with respect. Thanks to that, no incident was triggered by Brown.
Of course, it looked less like they were honoring a guest of honor and more like they were relocating a cursed doll sealed in a temple....
Actually, that probably means they really grasp how serious this is.
I swallowed hard—even though I had no saliva—and let myself be escorted.
This time, the destination was at the far edge of Seoul, a desolate alley rumored to be under redevelopment.
One of the SDRA’s field rest stops: a small, shabby container unit, easily overlooked.
And that was where I finally learned the cause of this catastrophe.
“Roe Deer.”
Inside the container, sitting across a battered desk, was none other than Deputy Eunhaje!
The realization struck me like lightning.
So the information flowed both ways!
Deputy Eunhaje, who knew about the Tuesday Quiz Show and the Midnight Talk Show, and the agents, who knew my plush friend’s name was Brown, had compared notes—and that was how this disaster came about.
Which could only mean...
There’s nowhere left to run.
I’m screwed.
“Sit.”
...
I quietly sat at the desk provided.
Deputy Eunhaje looked at the rabbit plush set on the handkerchief with a deeply troubled gaze.
“That Brown... is this Brown, isn’t it?”
...
Yes......
Affirmative
The deputy was cursing with his eyes.
He’d seen me at work in the Midnight Talk Show, completely contaminated. What must he think, seeing me carrying around a rabbit plush named after the host of that very show?
And if, after heading out to rescue Section Chief Lee Jahaeon, he’d then watched a marriage reality show almost identical to the Midnight Talk Show....
...Huuu.
[My, my. Mr. Roe Deer, you look troubled.]
[Why not take this chance to introduce your kind friend, and show just how useful and charming I am?]
That’s...
Wait.
Wait a second...!
Request: Paper and pen
Reason: Explanation of situation
Right. I’d learned it with Baek Saheon and the paper boats—if it’s written dialogue, I can explain myself properly, like a normal person!
And the perfect phrasing to clear this up popped into my head.
“...Uh, do you have any paper here?”
“Huuu.”
Agent Cheongdong handed me paper, and Deputy Eunhaje offered his pen. I hurriedly began to write.
You see, Brown is...!
Brown is like General Beom.
“...???”
“What the hell does that mean.”
It means he’s a supernatural being I’ve received help from.
Exactly.
I didn’t just “get” this plush. It’s an item serving as a kind of spiritual medium, which I obtained to channel him.
“What?”
Please, let me finish!
Do you remember? I told you I’d been missing for a month, and Baekilmong processed me as resigned due to death.
And you also remember I testified in the Glass Prison that it was the truth!
I stared hard at Agent Cheongdong. He flinched.
“...I remember, yes.”
The truth is, I wasn’t just missing. I was working in a supernatural phenomenon—the Midnight Talk Show.
And while there, I persuaded Brown, the host.
As a result, Brown accepted my resignation request. Since then, he’s dwelled in the plush and has been assisting me during my explorations of supernatural disasters....
Like.
Like an agent gaining aid from a goblin.
“...!”
Yes. That’s how you handle the SDRA.
After all, agents do sometimes borrow the power of supernatural beings, if they can coax and restrain them properly...!
Some of them are incredibly dangerous, too. Take General Beom, whom Choi Agent summoned—that manifestation of the White Tiger Great Kill could eat a man whole.
Brown is no different!
[Hooh.]
He didn’t look pleased at all, but if they’d swallow this comparison, then....
“That’s what he says?”
“That’s total bullshit. The bastard nearly died on that talk show.”
No!
Brown has also saved me from death many times.
Deputy, remember that insane exhibition haunting? Brown’s voice over the loudspeaker played a huge part in getting us all out safely!
And it was thanks to Brown that I survived the theme park!
“But you almost died because you used him wrong.”
That was...
Not death—contamination.
“You serious?”
Ghhk.
Yeah, I admit, that sounds utterly absurd....
Especially to Deputy Eunhaje, who’d actually seen my contaminated state.
But still.
Of course, being a supernatural entity means his sensibilities differ from humans, and that does cause problems at times.
But then again, so does my own current condition.
“...!!”
I felt the smoke seeping from under my gas mask.
The thick antlers above my head, the amorphous lumps of flesh beneath my clothes.
Just having a companion I can stay with in isolation gives me strength.
...Strange.
I’d started with plausible sophistry to persuade them, but by the time I wrote it all out, I realized part of me genuinely meant it.
I’m not saying he isn’t dangerous, or that I fully trust Brown.
But I am certain I’m in a better state than before.
And that’s thanks to you, Deputy, to Section Chief, and to the Director for coming all the way into high-grade darkness to find me.
Thank you.
“......”
I think of the Brown within this plush as my friend.
At least for now, I think it’s fair to call him that.
I set the pen down.
A complicated, heavy silence lingered in the container.
And then—
[Mr. Roe Deer.]
[Would you grant me a small request, as a friend?]
...
I nodded.
After asking the others for their indulgence, I drew out black smoke to veil the desk.
A space made of supernatural essence.
Within the urban legend, the rabbit plush stood up.
“...!!”
The kind friend inhabiting the rabbit plush looked over each of the SDRA agents and Deputy Eunhaje, then bowed deeply.
An exaggerated gentleman’s bow.
A gesture of introduction.
As if thanking his audience, the tiny stuffed toy tipped an imaginary hat and brought it to his waist.
Then he waved, and sat politely back down on the handkerchief.
“......”
Silence.
And then.
“Podo.”
Choi Agent spoke.
“You’re saying you’ve been ‘serving’ this talk show host as a friend and borrowing his power?”
...!
Affirmative
“How strong is he?”
“Strong enough to reduce a man to ashes with a snap of his fingers.”
...!
“...Okay.”
With Deputy Eunhaje’s addition, a smile spread across Choi Agent’s lips.
Not a pleasant one.
That’s...
The tense smile reserved for facing overwhelming supernatural disasters.
“Any other conditions for serving him? Earlier I saw him make a hat gesture. What if we offered him a fine fedora?”
[Hooh.]
[Mr. Roe Deer, this one does have a sense of propriety. Of course, given their budget, I wouldn’t expect too much in terms of quality!]
Brown is pleased
“Yeah? Okay.”
I looked at Choi Agent.
His face was unreadable, neutral as always, as he asked me,
“So how was it, when he spent half a year with us? He was in the Black Tortoise 1 Team’s lounge, right?”
...
I conveyed Brown’s account.
Not bad:
▶ Being placed on a cushion and occasionally helping with grooming
▶ Hearing updates on Agent Podo’ pursuit status
“Oh.”
Not so pleasant:
▶ Pretending to feed him
▶ Being called Pink
“Ah.”
And....
Improvement desired:
The cushion material was far too cheap
“......”
“......”
“...So he wants it replaced with cashmere?”
Acceptable
“Very particular preferences, huh....”
Yeah, he’s like that.
Anyway, thanks to Brown’s cushion complaint, the atmosphere eased a bit, where before it had been on the verge of tightening to the breaking point.
Maybe because Brown, in his ‘kind friend’ form, hadn’t caused any trouble for half a year.
That certainly helped.
But then.
“And another thing.”
Choi Agent’s smile faded.
“...That talk show does rack up casualties, doesn’t it?”
...
Yes.
“So the host isn’t a classy vegan gentleman like General Beom, then.”
I forced myself to answer.
Correct.
If it’s related to his show, he doesn’t compromise easily.
“...But you did try persuading him. Okay.”
The agents sat still, exchanging glances.
...Are they communicating with equipment?
After a pause, Choi Agent spoke again.
“Podo. You know we don’t actually trust your ‘wonderful friend Brown,’ right?”
Of course they wouldn’t.
“So I’d like to see you show us something reliable from now on. As a friend ought to.”
...!!
“We’ll be watching closely. You heard that, didn’t you, Mr. Brown?”
I realized.
This wasn’t, ‘Sure, since he’s your friend, keep him around.’
It was, ‘If we just leave him alone, things might go to hell, so we’ll tolerate him—barely.’
Proof: Agent Cheongdong was looking at me like he was about to drive a knife into my gut.
[What a tiresome throwback, like dealing with a guest convinced they still hold the initiative.]
[Still, it’s only natural. A trustworthy friend like me is rare indeed!]
“What did Mr. Brown say?”
...Sigh.
Positive reply
“Okay~ ...Of course, we trust our Podo isn’t just making up the plush’s responses, right?” freёwebnovel.com
O-of course not.
“Good. And he didn’t say anything else?”
...
Might as well.
I gave it to them straight.
Brown’s clarifications:
“...Hm. Got it.”
- There is no connection between veganism and classiness; Brown is a generous, cheerful soul in his own right.
“Oh, there’s a second one.”
- He has never revealed Agent Cheongdong’s private worries heard in the lounge, and pledges never to use them as broadcast material without consent.
“...! P-please excuse me a moment.”
- Do not conflate an uncouth, aging zoo tiger with a cultured, eloquent, and charming legendary host.
(This is Brown’s personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect 130666’s views.)
“But our General Beom isn’t—”
- Correction request number four....
“Just /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ tell him we understand.”
Wise decision, sir....
So I spent some time in that container passing on Brown’s words.
Fortunately, when it was over, Brown was returned to me without bloodshed.
“...Alright. Take him with you for now.”
The mood seemed lighter than before.
Though it wasn’t truly over.
“Oh, not a fedora, but we’d like to give Mr. Brown a small gift.”
Agent Cheongdong carefully held something out to Brown.
It was... a small silk cord, something that could be tied in a bow.
Shaped to fit a human’s ring finger.
“These days kids decorate their keychains, right? Since you’re a talk show host, we figured you’d like to keep up with the trends~”
I guarantee it. That’s a tracking charm....
[Oh, then I shall accept it as a keepsake!]
Luckily Brown agreed readily, and only after confirming I’d attached it to the accessory loop on Brown’s head did the agents allow us to leave.
“Shall we?”
And so the pink rabbit plush was formally registered with the SDRA as “The Friend Legend of 130666,” a cheerful theme-park plush inhabited by something.
The “Brown’s Identity Revealed” incident, for now, was settled.
Huuu....
...For the record, Deputy Eunhaje said nothing through it all except “I see,” silently staring at the plush the entire time.
But by the time we left the container, he was back to his usual demeanor.
Adding just one line.
“Don’t trust it.”
...
I thought a moment, then nodded.
And thus, the entire Se-gwang Special City expedition team came to know about the existence of my kind friend Brown.
What effect this would have later... only time would tell.
***
And some time after—
“Mr. Soleum.”
Section Chief!
At last, Section Chief Lee Jahaeon appeared, and I thought we were finally ready to enter Se-gwang Special City.
...Or so I thought.
“I see. I have a recommended appointment for the expedition roster.”
“Oh~ And who is it?”
“Section Chief Baek Saheon.”
I nearly choked on my gas mask.
- Correction request number four....
- Do not conflate an uncouth, aging zoo tiger with a cultured, eloquent, and charming legendary host.
- He has never revealed Agent Cheongdong’s private worries heard in the lounge, and pledges never to use them as broadcast material without consent.
