Free Web NovelChapter 304: Attempt at Improvement
"Thank you..." I say as Esther hands me a cup of hot chocolate with the medicine Saluvia made for me. It’s been about three days, and Esther has been strangely gentle. I thought she’d be much more aggressive with me after what happened.
"It was nothing. Just make sure you drink all of it," she says while I breathe deeply, thinking about the restrictions. Even though Esther has been treating me more kindly, she’s imposed very strict rules.
My real body is forbidden from leaving the kingdom. To take part in the war, I’ll have to create a puppet and control it remotely as if it were me, which is possible thanks to my training with Nerina. I can even use my powers in this temporary body.
Nerina really helped me a lot. Everything I learned from her made me much more powerful, and now I have [Infinity +1], so I’m not completely defenseless.
"Ghrmmm, it’s so bitter..." I finish drinking it all. Even with the sweetness of the chocolate, the medicine’s taste is far too strong. I’m not sure what these medicines are for.
Because Esther very possessively ordered me to have all general medical decisions reported only to her, I ended up telling Saluvia to inform only Esther.
So I don’t know what the medicines I’m taking are for, and honestly, I don’t care. It doesn’t feel like poison to my body, and I’ve actually been feeling better these past few days, so I think it’s really just medicine.
’The three of them seem worried...’ Cypher, Amanda, and Vermilion keep showing up nearby without saying anything. They just watch for a bit and then leave. Even Eve sent me a mental "message" asking if I was okay because the ships are already arriving on the angelic continent.
"Are you feeling better?" she asks, holding my hand. Her sudden gentleness is so unsettling, especially after what she did. It makes my tail hide behind my legs.
"Y-Yes... are you... not going to give me some space? I want to create a puppet..." With the things I’ve learned, there’s so much I want to test.
"No, I won’t leave your side anymore, especially because that woman is troublesome." Esther, who clearly didn’t like Saluvia, shows a jealousy that normally wasn’t this blatant.
"R-Right... I want to take a bath..." I try to go to the bathroom, where thankfully she doesn’t follow me. Not that she needs to, because I can feel her waiting behind the door. I lock the door with the key, looking at the large bathtub on the floor.
"Haaa..." I strip off my clothes carelessly and throw myself into the water. But while my body floats, I hear the door latch click and Esther walks in, which makes me look at her and roll my eyes.
"Esther, I’m fine." I really am fine. This is the dynamic I accepted when I simply agreed to stay with Esther, even though I don’t like being hurt.
"I know. I’m just taking care of you. After all, I don’t want you getting involved with someone else again. I’m the one to blame for such things happening by not watching over you."
"...I—"
"If that’s not the case, I’ll put a chastity belt on you."
"Y-You can stay here..."
"You really don’t hate me?"
"No, I don’t hate you. I’ll never be able to hate you." I sink into the water, letting my tail thrash in it, trying to rid myself of the discomfort of this situation.
"Evelyn, if you were angry with me, I’d feel better. Can’t you stop validating my terrible behavior? You know, I get sick just remembering what I did," she says sulkily.
"Sorry..." I can’t. I didn’t like it, but I can’t hate her, deny her, or push her away despite it. I know I’m an idiot for accepting this, but I can’t help it. Love has truly blinded me.
"Don’t apologize!! Your lack of anger is the problem here. Do you know how much I liked that and how disgusting I feel for having liked it? You validating it just confirms what my mother said!! It makes me look like a wild animal." She crouches down at the edge of the bathtub, looking at me with that strange gaze.
"I’m sorry..."
"Stop apologizing!!... Haaa..." She sighs, sitting on the floor while watching me bathe. I don’t know what she expected from me.
"Look, I... I’ll try to improve. I get it now, okay? I understand that I’m crossing the line... I really want to become better for you." When she says that, I’m shocked.
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I don’t want to lose you... However, I’m... complicated. I can’t hold myself back when it comes to you. You’re the only one who makes me lose my calm. You make me feel insane..."
"The jealousy, the envy, and the obsession you make me feel... it’s my fault. I know it’s my fault!! I’m the one who’s wrong here, but I want you to be better too!! So let’s talk. Let’s have conversations about what matters to us."
"I think our problem is the complete lack of communication. We don’t talk properly. We avoid and hide too many things from each other..." When she says that, I blush with shame, and my heart races, because no matter how much she hurts me, I love her, and what she’s saying is so... good to hear.
"...I-I’ll improve, Esther... s-so... how about we start slower? What name should we give the baby?" When I mention the baby, her face twists with disgust for a moment before she gives a broken smile.
"...Let’s... think about that calmly, Evelyn..." She clearly hates this baby. Her eyes say it all. I’ve never seen her have so much contempt for something.
"You said we should communicate better, Esther. Why do you hate the idea of us having a child so much?"
"...Because a child will make me lose time with you. You’ll have to spend time taking care of a child and will give me less time, and I hate that. I hate having to share you and your love so much. Just the fact that you could love this ’thing’ disgusts me."
"...W-Well..."
"And you, what do you feel? Since you want to know what I feel, what do you feel about this child?"
"...I-I feel uncomfortable... I-I also didn’t want a child, e-especially one coming from such a painful situation... b-but I’ll take good care of this child... s-so I think it could be an opportunity? It’s kind of like a proof of love, right?"
"There’s no greater way for us to be united than a baby!! A baby is like a mini-Esther mixed with a Mini-Evelyn!!" When I say that, Esther seems to think.
"A mini-Evelyn, huh... Well, I hope this child isn’t born looking like me. The last thing I need right now is someone as insane as me competing for your affection."
’A mini-Esther...’ It would be adorable. I start thinking about a little girl or little boy running toward me looking like Esther. It makes my heart race. freēwēbnovel.com
"So, Evelyn, since you want so badly to keep this ’thing,’ then I want something. Whenever my jealousy is about to explode, I want a piece of you. I’ve already accepted that I’m an animalistic aberration. After what happened on that island, there’s nothing for me to deny."
"So I at least want to gain something. Whenever I ask, I want to eat a part of my choosing from you. That’s the minimum to calm me down about this situation, don’t you think?"
"O-Okay..." When she says that, I feel a bit nauseated, and my stomach hurts. I remember perfectly the sensation of having my organs ripped out and devoured, the sound of flesh tearing, and the wet spray of blood.
Esther, who notices my trembling, gets a complex expression, a mix of discomfort, distaste, and something sad.
"...Haaa..." She sighs, taking off her clothes and tossing them aside as she gets into the bathtub. I shyly avert my gaze as she approaches, sitting on my lap.
"I won’t be unfair, Evelyn. I don’t want to lose you in any way. I am your treasure, your exclusive and most precious treasure... Scratch me."
"...?" I look at her face with confusion.
"You’re a dragon, but you’re also very weak, and I know you must feel very inferior when you see me. I don’t want to see you sad, and it’s obvious that both of us have serious issues with instincts."
"So, love, you can scratch me. You don’t need to hold back. Just as I hurt you, you can hurt me too. Use your nails on my back. Express both your desire and your sadness on my body." freeωebnovēl.c૦m
"E-Esther, I don’t know if... this is right..."
"Please, Evelyn!! I don’t want you to disappear. I don’t want to see you die. I don’t want you to kill yourself!! I can’t live without you. The day you die, I swear I’ll kill myself just to stay with you."
"So if this is something that makes you feel better and happier, I’ll do it. I love you. I love you more than anything!! So just let things get better between us... Please, let me try to fix everything."
"I swear I’ll try to be less restrictive about your relationships with other people. I swear I won’t do anything against our child, and above all, I swear my love for you is genuine..." She looks at me with tears on her face, which completely disconcerts me.
"Damn... why are we so stupid?" I say about both of us, broken and confused people who can only hurt each other but can’t stop sinking deeper into this relationship.
"..." I kiss her, stealing her lips in intense affection. She hugs me while our breasts touch, but my sharp nails, due to my nature as a dragon, pierce through her fragile, defenseless skin.
I grip hard, pulling my hands as support while I feel the blood running down her back. Our kiss intensifies as we both cry. Even though we can only have this broken relationship, I don’t care.
"I-I love you. M-My heart is only yours," I murmur between our kiss, listening to the sound of blood droplets falling into the bathtub while the smell of blood makes my instincts rise to the surface. And looking down amidst the blood, the reflection of my eyes shows two slit pupils like a wild beast’s.
And my tail is wrapped so aggressively around Esther’s thigh that the scales are making small cuts. Maybe out of resentment, maybe just because of this sick love we both have where we don’t want to let the other escape.
"I love you too," she replies, hugging me tightly, not caring about the wounds I’m inflicting on her. This embrace is so warm and comfortable.
