Free Web NovelChapter 120: Does he feel the same?
Alaric
The way he was staring at me after saying everything he had on his mind made my heart race so wildly that I believed he could hear it too.
The interior of the Maybach felt smaller now, the heavy air thick with the residue of his tears and the truth he had just dumped between us.
Why the hell was my heart pounding beside him like this? It wasn’t the first time it had happened during our encounters, but this time, what I actually felt wasn’t just me trying to figure out my messy emotions. It was because I already knew why I was feeling like that.
I liked Nico Park. Much more than I could ever imagine.
And as much as I was desperate a moment ago to voice my opinion, to yell at him for always walking out the absolute second we finished having sex, I held it all back. I choked down the lingering resentment because I finally understood the reasons why he had to be like that.
He was a victim.
And people dealt with their deep scars differently. Even just coming out to say it all after keeping it buried for so many years was an unimaginable weight for him to carry.
"I know I already said sorry that night," his voice brought me out of my thoughts, the tone quiet and rough from crying.
I looked toward him, completely silent, just listening to the cracked edge in his breath. "I still acted like an absolute jerk toward you after everything, and I shouldn’t have done that. It was bad of me, and no matter how many times I say sorry, it won’t change how badly I reacted toward you. I just..." He trailed off, rubbing his large hands over his face, hiding the exhaustion tightening around his features. freёwebnovel.com
"I feel ashamed each time I finish having sex, and then I feel like I have to leave," he confessed, his hands dropping down as he forced himself to meet my gaze. "Trust me, Alaric, I never wanted to leave you behind all those times. I enjoyed every single moment with you. I am so sorry if you felt somehow because of that, but I want you to know I never walked out because I was irritated by you. I always leave because I couldn’t face you."
Silence.
For a few seconds, I said absolutely nothing. I just stared at him with no reaction on my face, the heavy confession ringing through the quiet vehicle. I knew I was supposed to reply smoothly, to give him an explicit answer or even ask him more questions about the deep trauma he had just laid bare, but the words got trapped right in my throat. Instead of overthinking it, I just reached out, wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, and pulled him into my embrace yet again, hugging him tightly against my chest.
"I don’t..." I stuttered, the sentence dying before I could finish it.
But Nico didn’t press me for a perfect speech. He didn’t say a single thing, entirely content to just let me take a moment to catch my breath while his chin rested heavily on my shoulder. His hands came up slowly, gripping the back of my jacket with a loose, exhausted hold, letting the tension fully drain from his body.
We stayed like that for what felt like hours, the only sound being our synchronous breathing against the quiet rumble of the distant city traffic.
Slowly, the violent tremors running through his frame began to settle down, his heartbeat returning to a steady, rhythmic thud against my ribs.
"You’re suffocating me, de Villier," Nico finally muttered, though he made absolutely no effort to pull away from the hug.
A loose chuckle escaped my lips, the familiar arrogance in his tone bringing a strange sense of comfort back into the space. I loosened my grip slightly but kept one hand resting firmly against the back of his neck. "Oh, my bad. I thought the great Nico Park was indestructible. Didn’t realize a simple hug could take you out."
"It can’t," he scoffed, shifting back until he was sitting properly in the passenger seat, though his eyes were noticeably clearer now. He rubbed the back of his sleeve against his damp nose, letting out a breathy laugh. "But you’re heavy. You drive like a maniac and you hug like a bear. It’s an aggressive combination."
"Hey, I just saved your steering wheel from getting entirely pulverized," I pointed out, shifting back into the driver’s seat and dropping my hands onto the leather. I glanced down at my slightly red knuckles, then over to his hand. "Are you going to be alright?"
Nico looked down at his own fingers, then slowly nodded his head. The wild, unhinged look that had consumed him in the dining hall was completely gone, replaced by a quiet, grounded exhaustion. "Yeah. I’ll be fine. Better than fine, actually. Saying all of that to his face... I’ve wanted to do that since I was eleven years old and I am glad that I finally got to say it to his face.’’
"Good," I said firmly, reaching forward to twist the key in the ignition.
The Maybach purred back to life, the dashboard lights illuminating the cabin in a soft glow. I checked the mirrors and pulled the car back onto the dark, empty road, following the distant path Anderson had taken toward the private villa.
As we rode towards the Villa, my mind began to drift back to the absurd things he had confessed right before his breakdown. The silence between us wasn’t heavy anymore. It was lighter, but curiosity was eating me alive.
"Hey," I called out, keeping my eyes fixed on the road ahead.
"What?" Nico replied, leaning his head back against the headrest, watching the streetlights flicker across the ceiling.
"Why the hell did your mother call me your idol back there?" I asked, a small smirk playing on my lips despite the seriousness of the topic. "And what did you mean by saying I was your solace all those years? I mean, I know I’m incredibly talented and good-looking, but having my fiercest rival admit he spent his childhood watching my videos is a lot to process.’’
Nico didn’t answer immediately.
I flicked my eyes toward him for a split second and saw a sudden, deep flush creeping up his neck. He turned his face entirely toward the passenger window, refusing to look at me.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about," he muttered quickly, his voice dropping as if he was embarrassed knowing that he had let out one of the deepest secrets in his vulnerable moment.
"Don’t lie to me, Park. You literally just told me you used to talk to the screen and tell me about your day," I bantered, a genuine laugh breaking out of my chest. "Come on. Tell me the details. Which videos? Was it the one where I won the junior karting championship, or the one where my dad made me wear that ridiculous oversized helmet?"
"I am not telling you anything," Nico snapped, though there was no real heat behind it. He let out a sharp scoff, his shoulders shaking with silent amusement. "You already have an ego the size of the entire racing grid. If I give you the specific details, you’ll never let me live it down. I am supposed to be ahead of you, remember? So I am not telling you.’’
"Oh, absolutely," I agreed cheerfully, turning the steering wheel to navigate a sharp bend in the road. "I will bring it up before every single race. I’ll ask you if you talked to your solace before putting your suit on."
"See? This is exactly why I should have kept my mouth shut," he groaned, placing his palm over his forehead. "You are completely unbearable, de Villier."
"Come on, Nico, just give me something," I pressed, my curiosity genuinely piqued now. "When did this even start? We didn’t even run in the same circles until this season.’’
Nico turned his head back toward me, a mysterious, knowing look in his dark eyes that instantly made me feel like I was missing a massive piece of a puzzle. "You should search your head and try to remember a few things, Alaric."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, my brows furrowing as I glanced at him.
"It means exactly what I said," he countered, leaning forward slightly with a smirk. "You think our first proper interaction was when we started competing on the grid, don’t you?"
"Was it not?" I asked, entirely baffled.
’’Nico just chuckled, a low, deep sound that sent a strange flutter straight to my stomach. He shook his head, looking back out at the dark streets. "We have met many times before that, Alaric. You just never paid enough attention to notice."
"Wait, what?!" I almost veered the car slightly, my eyes widening as I tried to scan through my memory bank. "Where? When did we meet? Nico, stop playing around, tell me!"
"Nope," he said smoothly, popping the ’p’ with an incredibly smug expression. "Figure it out yourself. You’re supposed to be this brilliant, calculated racer who notices every single detail on the track. Let’s see if you can notice the details of your own life."
"You are an absolute menace, you know that?" I muttered, gritting my teeth as I tried to remember any junior events, banquets, or paddocks where a young, quiet Nico Park might have crossed my path or his adult version. Nothing came up which only irritated me more.
"Give me a hint at least. Was it in France? Italy?"
"No hints," Nico said, leaning back comfortably, clearly enjoying my sudden frustration.
’’You are annoying,’’ I said to him and he just shrugged his shoulders, acting like he had no idea what I meant.
Up ahead, the tail lights of Uncle Anderson’s car finally slowed down, turning into a grand, stone-walled driveway that led toward a beautiful, traditional villa nestled away from the main city noise.
"Looks like we’re here," I murmured, easing the Maybach into the driveway behind them.
"Yeah," Nico said, his tone softening as he looked at the quiet estate. He turned his eyes back to me, the playfulness fading into something incredibly sincere. "And Alaric... thanks. For stopping the car. And for... everything else. I am glad that you listened to me. It’s all I have ever wanted.’’
My heart did that strange, wild flip again. I offered him a soft smile, reaching over to briefly squeeze his shoulder before killing the engine. "Anytime, Nico.’’
Anytime? I wondered why I had said that and then I heaved a deep sigh knowing that this was much more.
But does he feel the same for me?
