Conquering the Emperor

Chapter 195: Life and Death

The first week flew by in a blur of events. The second day working in the medical tent was similar to the first. The worst was the third day. It wasn’t like the situation got better on the following days; however, the third day was when war truly broke out and we suffered a high number of casualties. It was brutal and extremely shocking. The other days that followed was the same until somehow, I had gotten used to seeing men dying right in front of my own very eyes.

“He’s not going to make it; we should move on...” Mou said sadly.

I looked down at the man laying on the stretcher as he struggled to breathe. Mou’s right, this man probably won’t make it. Before I knew it, I felt a sharp pain in the palm of my hands and realized that I was clenching my hand so tightly that my nails were digging into my skin.

It was so hard to let go. If I stayed with him, he may live. However, that would mean that someone else here in this tent would have to die. Being torn by these life and death decisions was killing me deep inside. My mind and spirit suffered so much damage that the fatigue felt by my body could never compare.

“My Lady...” Mou whispered.

“Let’s move on,” I said emotionlessly.

I let go of the man’s hand and it fell limply onto the ground. Another patient was carried in right away and my attention shifted to him. The new patient was heavily wounded as well but at least his artery wasn’t damaged. If I hurry, I can still save him.

“Clean fabric please. Help me wrap it here...quickly...” I instructed firmly and Mou quickly moved to follow my instructions.

He was very talented and very experienced. The ways his hand moved and the way that his heart never wavered was very impressive to me. Looking back, I don’t think I would have survived those hectic days if I didn’t have Mou’s constant support.

By the end of the third day, I had lost count of how many men I had to leave to die just so I could move on to save someone else who had a higher chance of surviving. At night when Ren came back to his tent, I cried so hard in his arms. freeωebnovēl.c૦m

“If it’s too hard on you, you know that you don’t have to do this anymore, right?” Ren said as his hand stroked my back gently.

It was hard but the thought of stopping never once occurred to me. I knew what Ren was getting at. He was right, I didn’t have to do this. I can just sit around here and wait for him to come back all day in this tent. However, that wasn’t what I wanted to do. That wasn’t what I came here for.

“No...I won’t stop. I’m going to continue healing the soldiers,” I said firmly before I continued sobbing.

“I want to support what you want to do but if you cry like this every night, I’m going to order you to stop. I don’t like to see you crying...” Ren said close to my ear.

“It’s just so sad. So many men died, and no one is crying for them,” I said softly.

“Those men died serving their empire honorably. They don’t need anyone to weep over their deaths. We’re going to win this war to make sure that their deaths won’t be in vain,” Ren stated with determination.

I didn’t know what else to say so I just hugged him tighter. Just like the previous nights, Ren carried me to bed with him and in the morning when I woke up, he was already gone.

...

The fourth day was the first day that I couldn’t respect my curfew and agreement with general Chang. By sunset which was the official time for both armies to retreat back to camp for the day, we had so many wounded soldiers left to heal. The influx of patients during the daytime piled up and we couldn’t deal with them all in time. This results in many pending cases, and we had to work after sunset. freeweɓnovel.cøm

“I’m sorry, General Chang, but I can’t go back now,” I said regrettably as I gestured with my hand to the wounded men laying on the floor and on the beds waiting to be tended to.

General Chang followed my hand and gaze before he sighed loudly. I knew that I made a promise to him, and he probably made the same promise to Ren; however, my work was far from over for the day.

“The crown prince should be on his way back to camp. I’ll try to catch him before he enters the meeting to ask for his permission. Meanwhile, you stay here, and I’ll ask Doctor Kai to keep an eye on you,” General Chang kindly offered a solution.

“Thank you so much! Thank you...thank you so much!” I cried out in relief as I bowed my head repeatedly to him.

“You go help the soldiers now. I’ll try to get the crown prince’s permission. I’ll be back shortly,” General Change said before turning to leave.

I nodded and then turned my attention back to the wounded soldiers. Mou was there to help me, and we managed to wrap up a couple of cases before General Chang returned with good news that Ren had given his permission. It felt like a huge mountain had been lifted off my chest and I could breathe easier. I know that I’ve done many things against Ren’s permission before, so I was trying my best to abide by his rule.

Knowing that Ren was already very busy, I didn’t want to be more a burden to him than I already am. That night, with Ren’s blessing, I stayed to help the medical team until we finished tending to all the wounded soldiers. By the time that we were done, Ren was already done with his meeting as well.

“Crown Prince...” General Chang said.

At the sound of someone addressing Ren, I spun around to see Ren walking into the medical tent. Putting the needle that I was sterilizing down, I quickly went to greet Ren. He seemed tired but he seemed fine, thankfully so. When I first saw him, I had thought that he needed medical help.

--To be continued...