Free Web NovelChapter 163: Honest Confession
“Lift your head right now, Rin...” Ren said as his feet came within my line of sight. I could feel his presence close to me and knew that he had come to stand in front of me.
“I’ll only lift my head after you allow me to see Jeely,” I stated stubbornly.
“Rin...” Ren said my name with an edge to his voice.
“Please just let me see her!” I cried out in frustration.
I could hear Ren’s footsteps as he paced about, and I could sense his frustration. My guilt bubbled up inside me; I didn’t want to do something like this, but I didn’t have any other options left. I apologized inwardly to Ren. I knew that I was pushing him and that I was being unreasonable but no matter what, I just couldn’t give up on this.
“...take Shin with you...” Ren said softly.
Did I heard that correctly or am I just dreaming? Ren...he finally granted my wish. I lifted my head up and looked up at him. Ren reached out for me and slowly helped me up to my feet.
“Thank you, Ren...and I am so sorry...” I said softly.
“You should head back. Tomorrow, I’ll get Shin to take you to see her,” Ren said emotionlessly as he turned to leave.
Well, at least I’ve made some progress on Jeely’s case. It wasn’t like I could magically lift her punishment but I had never expected that I could have done that in the first place. However, the issue between Ren and I was far from resolved.
“Wait! Ren!” I called after him as I ran after him.
Ren was about to slide open the door when I finally reached him and threw my arms around his body to stop him. I hugged him tightly, feeling the heat of his back on my body and on my cheek as I pressed my face against his broad back.
“What is it?” Ren asked curtly.
“Are you...still mad at me?” I asked softly.
I felt Ren’s hand on my wrists as he tried to disengage my arms from around his torso. No, I don’t want him to see my face!
“Please...don’t turn around...” I begged softly as I tightened my arms around his body. fгeewёbnoѵel.cσm
I could feel Ren’s body stiffen briefly before he relaxed in my arms. Although he didn’t push me away, Ren didn’t answer my question either. He’s still mad...I knew it...
“Why didn’t you come see me these past few days?” I asked hesitantly.
“Did you wanted me to come see you?” Ren asked in return.
I bit my lower lips. This is harder than I thought...
“To be honest, I was scared that you would...punish me...if you turned up but when you didn’t, I got very worried about you,” I replied.
“There was no need for you to worry, I was just busy,” Ren replied. ƒгeewёbnovel.com
With everything that had just happened, I could figure out already what he was busy with these past couple of days.
“Ren...about that day at the festival, I’m truly sorry. Actually, I’m sorry for that day and...not being able to tell you the entire truth,” I said honestly.
I paused and I think that I was so scared that my body shook. Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, I tightened my arms around Ren and pressed my face into his back for courage. I could smell his familiar smell and oddly, that made me feel slightly better.
“I’m listening...” Ren said softly, urging me to go on.
“The truth is when we got separated, I was so scared, and I was lost. While I was lost, I realized that I was alone, and I had the opportunity to escape if I wanted to. The thought of escaping did occur to me. I spent a lot of time hiding in a small alley as I thought about how to make my escape. I thought of selling the jewelry that I had on to fund my trip back to my hometown,” I began telling my story.
Ren was silent while I paused to collect my thoughts and form my next words. I’m come this far; I need to quickly tell Ren everything. Then...I’ll deal with the consequences of my actions. I made the right decision; I could talk easier because he couldn’t see my face like this. Taking in a deep breath, I continued with my confession.
“The more I thought about escaping, the more I got scared. I wanted to go home but on the other hand, I was scared of leaving the palace. I felt so confused and frustrated that I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there in the small alley. At first, I was really convinced that I wanted to escape but then I just couldn’t do it. No matter how hard I tried, my body just wouldn’t move...” I explained truthfully.
Oh no, I’m crying again. My voice was shaking so badly that I had to stop. My eyes hurt and it was getting harder for me to breathe. I pressed my cheek against Ren’s back as I tried to get a hold of myself. Ren was silent but I knew that he was listening to everything that I was saying.
“After sitting there for I don’t know how long, I realized that I was scared that I would never get to go home ever again. However, I soon realized that I was even more scared of leaving. I was scared of leaving you. I was scared of never seeing you again. Before I knew it, I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without you...and I got even more scared. In the end, when I had decided to return to you, my body was able to move again and I went back to the town square,” I continued telling my story.
I paused again to catch my breath. With all the tension that was building up inside of me, I had spoken so fast and needed to rest. Ren’s warmth against my body gave me comfort even if he didn’t comfort me with his words.
“You were right, Ren. I thought of betraying you. I really thought of leaving you, and I even thought about how I could do it. Despite all that, in the end, I couldn’t leave you. No matter what, I couldn’t leave you. I wanted you to find me and I wanted you to take me back with you...” I said admittingly.
--To be continued...
