Blessed By A Yandere Goddess

Chapter 17: Love Or Necessity?

The warmth didn’t fade.

It sat in Ronan’s chest like a second heartbeat, pulsing in counterpoint to his own. The shadows in the corners of the waystation stirred again, no longer flat and lifeless, but reaching, stretching toward him with the slow, tentative movement of things long asleep finally waking.

"Sarael?"

The whisper of his name came again, clearer this time.

"Ronan."

Not everywhere and nowhere. Not inside his skull or curling through his ribs like smoke. This voice came from directly in front of him, and when he lowered his gaze from the ceiling, she was there.

Kneeling on the blanket.

Solid.

Real.

The darkness that usually clung to her like living silk had changed. It still wrapped around her body in shifting folds, still moved with a life of its own.

But it was darker now, deeper, like the difference between a shadow cast by moonlight and a shadow that had never seen light at all.

Her hair spilled over her shoulders in waves of pale violet, the same color as the moon, the same color as her eyes. And her eyes were open, and wet, and fixed on him with an intensity that made his breath catch.

[Entity Recalibrated]

[Status: Dormant Deity (Lesser Godly Spirit)]

"You finally saw me as a real being..."

"Real? What does that mean...?"

"It means you don’t just see me as a power source or vague goddess anymore, you actually think I’m real."

Sarael’s words strangely hit Ronan. A real entity? A real person? Did he really not see her that way the entire time? Ronan wanted to think about it more, but he couldn’t; the last thing he needed was for her to disappear again.

Right now, he needed answers, or at least, to increase their intimacy before she disappeared again.

"Sarael, kiss me."

"R-Ronan...?" freewebnovёl.ƈom

He didn’t even wait for her to answer. He pulled her into his lap on the blanket, his hands settling on her hips, pressing in with as much pressure as he figured would feel satisfying or pleasurable to her.

Sarael’s breath caught.

Then her mouth was on his; she didn’t even hesitate.

She kissed him like she’d been rehearsing it for centuries. Her lips moved against his with a desperate, practiced hunger, knowing exactly how to tilt his head back, exactly when to part her lips, exactly how much pressure would make his hands tighten on her hips.

"There," she breathed against his mouth. "There, finally, finally—"

Her fingers threaded into his hair and pulled, just hard enough to keep him exactly where she wanted him. Her hips rolled forward in that same slow, grinding rhythm from before, but this time she was watching his face.

"You don’t know how long I’ve imagined this."

She kissed the corner of his mouth, his jaw, the spot below his ear where his pulse hammered.

"Every night. Watching you sleep. Thinking about what I’d do when you finally touched me back willingly."

Her teeth grazed his throat.

"But every time, I kept waking you up too fast. I got too excited, I couldn’t help myself, and then I’d panic and vanish before you could push me away."

She pulled back to look at him, and her violet eyes were wild. Wet at the edges. Smiling and desperate and terrified all at once.

"But you’re not pushing me away now. Are you?"

"Sarael—"

"Tell me you’re not. Tell me this is real. Tell me you want this."

Her voice cracked on the last word.

[Affinity: 1.1% → 1.6%]

Ronan wasn’t even sure how to respond. Common sense dictated he should say no, that letting an unhinged goddess into his life would bring more harm than good.

But he couldn’t. He needed her to survive this world, and clearly, she needed him just as much. If that didn’t bring two people together despite their flaws, Ronan didn’t know what would.

"Y-Yeah. I want this."

He wasn’t sure if it was his brain talking or his other friend talking for him.

Sarael went still.

For one terrible second, Ronan thought he’d said the wrong thing.

That she’d seen through him, heard the hesitation in his voice, the uncertainty bleeding through the words. That she’d vanish again and leave him kneeling on this blanket alone.

Then her face crumpled.

"You mean it?" Her voice was barely a whisper. "You’re not just saying it? You’re not just trying to raise your affinity so you can level up and leave me behind?"

The accusation hit closer to home than Ronan wanted to admit.

Part of him was doing exactly that. But there was also a part that had held her while she sobbed, where he called her his wife and felt the warmth in his chest flare in response, the part that had found her ridiculously beautiful.

The part that Ronan had jokingly classified as "Stockholm Syndrome."

But Ronan was still human, and a pretty lady asking him a question like that was enough to make him fold.

"No, not really, that’s part of it, but..."

Ronan had a hard time saying the last part. While he wasn’t that emotionally attracted to Sarael yet, she still definitely was beautiful.

"You find me beautiful, don’t you? Is that what you’re so afraid to say?" Sarael whispered in his ear, a small smile forming on her mouth.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Then I’m fine with that, as long as you find me beautiful, you’ll eventually love me for real, I know it."

Sarael kissed him again, just as practiced and pleasurable as before, holding Ronan as tight as she possibly could.

And this time, Ronan doesn’t know when she will stop or disappear.