Assassin Crow Evolution

Chapter 20: Fight, flight, or flirt

When one gets chased by an angry man who is flailing a stick around, the most common response would be to run away.

Jimmy and the couple of lady crows had the same response. Except they could fly away.

However, having eaten more than their own weight in meat, they were unsurprisingly sluggish.

Their ’split second’ reactions took a long time. Definitely more than a second.

When they were ready to fly away, and got themselves a few feet above the ground, the angry man tossed his stick at them.

An angrily tossed, three-foot long stick, when backed by the muscles of a two-hundred pound man, was more than dangerous.

Weighing three pounds, the stick wasn’t only bone breaking once it left its wielder’s hand. It was deadly.

The stick whistled as it spun, maintaining a forward momentum of 85 mp/h (125 km/h).

It spun at an angle, and its spin could roughly be measured at 140 mp/h (225 km/h). Its whistle was more of an orchestra. It called the crows to the afterlife.

Upon impact, the stick could deliver a blow of 1,871 Joules. One and a half times the equivalent of being punched at full force, by a professional boxer. Except, all that energy was concentrated at the head of a mildly thick, hard stick.

The impact would be instantly fatal, and completely destructive against the crows. It would disintegrate their physical structure, and worst yet, the stick wouldn’t stop spinning immediately after. It would virtually saw through them!

Jimmy’s life moved in slow motion as he turned his head, and saw the stick coming at him. The stick would hit him first, and then the ladies. He felt helpless to stop it.

At that moment, his thoughts moved faster than the stick. His short life flashed before his eyes.

’I don’t have any skills that would stop that,’ He thought, ’I can’t believe that I’m dying because of a stick...’

As the stick continued its destructive path, Jimmy saw something reflective near it. Close to the edge of the spinning stick.

Tink!

Something hit the stick. He was in the moment enough to know that much.

With a distance of a few meters between him and the stick, he was surprised to see the stick propel upwards!

That tiny interruption changed its rather forward trajectory by quite a lot, and so the stick flew above his head! It missed him and the ladies by a couple of inches!

The stick continued flying upwards, and he couldn’t care less as to when it would stop flying, and land. Avoiding the stick was more than easy now.

"What the hell just happened?" he blurted.

As he looked back once more, he could hear the man continuing to yell at them. Likely cursing at them too.

Other than that, he saw a tiny speck of green flying towards him.

It was the praying mantis.

It could fly, quite fast, even, and the mantis landed comfortably on Jimmy’s back, riding him as if he was some great dragon.

"Did you just save my ass, buddy?" he asked.

The mantis did not answer. It just tied its chained sickle around its arms, propping it comfortably.

...

Jimmy and the ladies landed on a rooftop, far away from danger. He noticed that they were far less rattled than he was, and this irritated him instantly.

"We almost died back there," he said, "Why do you two seem so calm?"

"We didn’t die," one of them answered. "So why does it matter if we almost died?"

Jimmy was too stunned to speak. Yet, the ladies looked at him, non-verbally demanding an answer.

"The mantis saved us," he said, "That’s what I’m trying to say."

"Oh," she nodded, "Good for him."

"You’re not going to thank him?" He arched his back, offended on his tiny friend’s behalf. "He saved our lives! That damn stick could’ve ripped our wings off!"

"Why would I thank an insect?" She said, "We eat insects. We don’t thank them."

Jimmy was fuming. He was ready to fight these ladies on the spot! He was ready to chase the argument first, but then he felt a pinch on his back.

The mantis rustled his feathers. He couldn’t tell if the mantis was trying to help him calm down, or attack the ladies on his behalf.

Either way, this puny argument could go south quickly!

The pinch helped him re-evaluate the situation. Fighting, and potentially killing two crows over a simple, lacking gesture of gratitude wouldn’t look good on him.

"I’m already seen as an idiot..." he sighed, letting his frustrations out, "I don’t want to be seen as a psychopath too."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" the other lady asked.

"It doesn’t matter," he said.

As the stirring tides died down, he added, "I fed you, we kept you safe, so can I ask that you don’t bad-mouth me from now on? It wouldn’t be fair."

"We’ll spread the good news," One of them answered sarcastically, "You’re not a total, weird little moron."

"Thank you," he smiled.

Afterwards, he took off, his kitchen knife following him, and the praying mantis riding on his back. He has had enough of these ladies, and didn’t want to hear their voices anymore today.

As he took off, the ladies couldn’t help but feel frustrated.

"He’s really stupid, isn’t he, Julia?" She asked, "I’ve been flirting with him all this time, and his feathers shot up every time he heard me speak, as if I was looking to fight him."

"Maybe he’s just young, Zoey?" Julia shook her head, "You weren’t any smarter when you were his age."

"I guess..." Zoey sighed, "But hear my words, I’ll have him build me a nest next spring. If he doesn’t, I’ll threaten to eat his green little friend. Maybe that’ll give him a hint?"

"You’re awful," Julia chuckled. "Why don’t you ask him to be your partner, like a normal crow?"

"He’s not a normal crow," Zoey said, "And neither am I."