Free Web NovelChapter 65: Pack Run
"Close your eyes," Jax instructs, his voice dropping into something more serious. "Focus on your breathing. Feel your wolf inside you. I know you can feel her, she’s right there under your skin. Picture her. What does she look like? What colour is her fur? How does she move?"
I close my eyes and try to follow his instructions.
My wolf is there, just like he said, pressing against the inside of my skin like she’s trying to claw her way out. I can feel her impatience, her frustration, her desperate need to be free. I try to picture her. Dark fur, I think, maybe black or deep brown. Strong and fast and powerful. But the moment I reach for her, the moment I try to let go enough to actually shift, something slams down inside me. A wall. A barrier. A fundamental refusal to surrender that much control.
I try again. And again. And again. Each time I get close to that edge, close to letting go, something inside me panics and pulls back. It’s like standing at the edge of a cliff and trying to convince yourself to jump. Intellectually I know the shift won’t hurt me, that my body knows what to do, but the primal part of my brain that’s responsible for keeping me alive is screaming that this is dangerous and wrong and absolutely not happening.
After the fifth failed attempt, I open my eyes to find both Jax and Leo watching me with identical expressions of patient understanding.
"I can’t," I say, hating how defeated I sound. "There’s something blocking me. I can feel her right there, but I can’t... I can’t let go enough to actually do it."
"That’s normal," Jax says immediately. "Seriously, Frankie, this is completely normal for first shifts. You’re not failing. You’re just learning."
"It’s fear," Leo says again, and this time there’s no judgement in his voice. Just simple fact. "You’re safe here. We’re not going anywhere. Nothing bad will happen if you shift. You need to believe that."
"I do believe that," I argue, frustration making my voice sharp. "I know I’m safe. But apparently my subconscious didn’t get the memo."
Leo studies me for a long moment, those pale eyes seeing far too much, and then he takes a step back.
"Watch," he says simply.
And then he shifts.
If Jax’s transformation was graceful, Leo’s is absolutely devastating. His massive frame expands even further, bones cracking and reforming with sounds that make my stomach clench, muscles rippling and changing beneath skin that splits and reforms as thick dark fur. His clothes tear away, unable to contain the sheer size of what he’s becoming, and within seconds the man is gone and in his place is the largest wolf I’ve ever seen.
He’s enormous, bigger even than Jax, which I didn’t think was possible, with fur so dark it’s almost black and those same pale eyes that seem to glow with intelligence and power. The scars that marked his human body are visible on his wolf form too, pale lines cutting through dark fur, a testament to battles fought and survived. He’s terrifying and magnificent and so beautiful it makes my chest ache.
He looks at me, and I feel the weight of his gaze all the way down to my soul. This is what I could be. This is what’s waiting for me on the other side of my fear. This power, this freedom, this absolute certainty of self. My wolf howls inside me, desperate and longing, and for the first time I feel the barrier inside me start to crack.
Before I can process what’s happening, Jax is moving. He grabs me around the waist with a laugh and lifts me. I’m deposited onto Leo’s massive back. My hands sink into thick fur, feeling the heat and power of him beneath me, and my wolf goes absolutely wild with recognition and need. This is pack. This is home. This is everything we’ve been missing our entire lives.
"Hold on," Jax says, grinning at me, and then he’s stepping back. ƒreewebɳovel.com
His shift is just as smooth as before, that golden wolf emerging in a matter of seconds, and then both wolves are looking at me with identical expressions of anticipation. I tighten my grip on Leo’s fur, my heart pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat, and then they’re moving.
Leo takes off like a shot, his powerful body surging forward with a speed that steals my breath, and Jax runs alongside us, matching his pace perfectly.
Trees blur past us as we plunge into the forest, the training ring disappearing behind us in seconds. Wind whips through my hair, cool air filling my lungs, and beneath me I can feel every flex and stretch of Leo’s muscles as he runs. It’s exhilarating and terrifying and absolutely perfect. Jax lets out a howl beside us, pure joy and freedom, and I find myself laughing, genuinely, deeply laughing in a way I haven’t in weeks.
This is what they’ve been trying to show me.
This freedom, this wildness, this absolute certainty of belonging. I’m not shifted, not yet, but I’m running with my pack through these woods and for the first time since this whole supernatural nightmare began, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. The forest opens around us, sunlight filtering through the canopy overhead, and I fling my head back and laugh louder, the sound echoing through the trees.
My wolf howls desperate to join them, desperate to run on her own four legs instead of riding on Leo’s back. Soon, I promise her. Soon I’ll figure out how to let go. Soon I’ll be brave enough to surrender. But for now, this is enough. This moment of pure joy, of absolute freedom, of finally understanding what it means to be part of something bigger than myself.
The wolves run faster, and I hold on tighter, and somewhere in the back of my mind I know that everything is about to change. That once I figure out how to shift, once I let my wolf free, there will be no going back to the person I was before. But as Leo’s powerful body moves beneath me and Jax runs beside us, I realise I don’t want to go back.
I want to go forward.
Into this.
Into them.
Into everything I’m meant to become.
