Free Web NovelChapter 205: Chapter 205: You Don’t Understand What’s Between Me and Her
"It’s not atonement."
Shen Mingji’s gaze was lowered, his expression unusually calm.
"Miss Xue is a good woman. She protected her family and supported them all by herself. She’s remarkable... My older sister probably had it just as hard when she was raising me."
He had been young and foolish back then. He could only imagine the toll it took on his sister to protect him.
Shen Mingji continued, "It’s not easy for a woman to make her way in this world. My sister was exceptionally talented, but if she were alive today, the best she could have hoped for would have been to marry into a good family."
"Miss Xue is sincere and pure-hearted, willing to give everything for the people she cares about. Yet she hasn’t been treated well. Some people mock her for her family’s decline, while others say that as a divorced woman, she must have done something to wrong her husband’s family."
If Xue Xingyao weren’t close friends with Mei Wanying, the rumors would be even nastier.
Gossip is an invisible blade that wounds. Xue Xingyao might seem open-minded on the surface, but deep down, she must be hurting. freewёbn૦νeɭ.com
The other day, Little Brother Xue got into an argument, and the other person used the Xue Family’s past to humiliate him.
Not only that, they also slandered Miss Xue, calling her an abandoned wife.
Little Brother Xue couldn’t stand it and got into a fight. But as a frail scholar, he only ended up getting beaten.
Shen Mingji thought to himself, ’Little Brother Xue is considering joining the army. He probably wants to learn how to fight so he can protect his family in the future.’
’As for earning merits, that’s a separate matter.’
He had a sister too; he could understand how Little Brother Xue felt.
A man should stand tall and shelter the ones he cares about from the storm.
Shen Mingji said, "I’ve done a lot of stupid things in the past, but as long as I want to, I have the chance to start over. I can study for the imperial exams or join the army to earn merits."
"I’m a man. I’m not confined to the rear courtyards. I’m not bound by so many rules. I have plenty of options."
"But it’s different for Miss Xue. She wants to start over, but every step is a struggle."
Staring at the pattern on his clothes, Shen Mingji looked lost. "I just thought, if only I could help her in some small way."
He didn’t want to see Xue Xingyao suffer injustice, nor did he want to see her looking so worried.
He would do everything in his power to help Xue Xingyao with anything she needed.
It was that simple, not some damn atonement. freeweɓnovel.cøm
What was the point of forcing something on Xue Xingyao that she didn’t need?
The air was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Chen Shujing’s thin lips were pressed into a tight line. His gaze on Shen Mingji was complex, with a hint of probing curiosity.
He never knew Ah Ji was capable of such thoughts. The unruly youth could suddenly empathize with another’s plight.
Chen Shujing was certain now: Shen Mingji had grown up. He had matured.
He was growing up so fast.
So fast that Chen Shujing found it unsettling.
For a moment, Chen Shujing didn’t know what to say.
His probing gaze rested on Shen Mingji for a long time, but in the end, Chen Shujing didn’t ask the question.
’Ah Ji couldn’t possibly like Ah Yao.’
’She is his, Chen Shujing’s, wife. No matter how much of a scoundrel Ah Ji was, he would never covet another man’s wife.’
Chen Shujing swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue, afraid he would wrongly accuse Shen Mingji again.
He pressed the bridge of his nose. "Stay out of my affairs with Ah Yao. Go back to the barracks."
Shen Mingji’s fingers toyed with each other. He said, "Brother, you should go home. Don’t stay here and disturb Miss Xue. She’s finally found some peace, so don’t bring more gossip down on her."
By calling Chen Shujing "Brother," he was acknowledging their past bond.
Chen Shujing sighed. "You don’t understand what’s between her and me."
Shen Mingji retorted, "She doesn’t want to get back together with you. She’s made that very clear. Why do you insist on pestering her?"
"If you really want to compensate her, you’d be better off giving her more money to support herself. That would be more useful than a thousand apologies."
Before Chen Shujing could speak, Shen Mingji added, "Give her what she wants. That is true compensation. Otherwise, everything you’re doing is just to satisfy your own selfish desires."
Chen Shujing was rendered speechless.
It used to be him lecturing Shen Mingji, hoping he would learn to distinguish right from wrong and stop living in a muddle.
Now the tables had turned. Ah Ji was actually lecturing him.
Chen Shujing understood the logic, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go just like that.
Not wanting to hear any more of Shen Mingji’s reasoning, Chen Shujing raised a hand. "You should go."
He paused, then added, "From now on, I won’t worry about your affairs. Ah Ji, you’ll have to walk your own path."
Ah Yao never verbally blamed Xiaoxiao, but there was likely a knot of resentment in her heart.
Chen Shujing made up his mind to no longer involve himself in Shen Mingji’s life.
As long as it wasn’t a matter of life and death, they would go their separate ways and see less of each other from now on.
Shen Mingji grunted in acknowledgement, showing no resentment. "If it weren’t for your protection, Brother, I wouldn’t be alive today. I will never forget this debt. Once I return to the Shen family and take my revenge, I will send half my fortune to the Chen Family."
Chen Shujing’s expression changed drastically. "I didn’t do all this for your family’s fortune."
Shen Mingji’s lips curved. "I know you’re not that kind of person, Brother. If my sister were still alive, she would have agreed with this."
His sister had been a brilliant woman with great ambitions; acting meek and subservient was merely a means of survival.
Shen Mingji realized in hindsight, ’No wonder I always remembered my sister as being so frail.’
’If she hadn’t hidden her brilliance, she would have been devoured by the Shen family’s rear courtyards long ago.’
He glanced at Chen Shujing. ’My sister and he were deeply in love, but was it more admiration... or more exploitation?’
’Only my sister herself knew the answer to that question.’
Chen Shujing was unaware of Shen Mingji’s thoughts. "Are you trying to cut ties with me?"
Shen Mingji shook his head, his expression relaxed. "If I need help in the future, I will still ask you, Brother."
He said that, but Chen Shujing knew Shen Mingji would no longer accept his help.
Ever since Ah Ji learned of his marriage negotiations with Ah Yao, he had stopped troubling him.
He was seriously injured in the barracks, almost lost his life, and still didn’t write to him.
It was someone else who sent word; that was the only reason he found out Ah Ji was hurt.
A matter of life and death, and Ah Ji chose to bear it alone.
In the future, no matter what storms came his way, Ah Ji wouldn’t tell him.
Chen Shujing felt an inexplicable sense of loss.
He truly thought of Shen Mingji as his own brother.
Unlike Chen Shujing, Shen Mingji looked completely at ease.
"Of course, you might not receive a single coin. If I die on the battlefield, I’ll have to repay your kindness in the next life."
"Don’t speak such nonsense!"
Chen Shujing’s heart hammered in his chest. He couldn’t bear to hear the word "die."
Shen Mingji waved a hand dismissively. "I’m off."
Without another thought for whether Chen Shujing stayed or left, he turned and walked away from the Xue Family’s home.
An attendant asked Chen Shujing, "Young Master, should we still go in?"
Shen Mingji’s words had, in the end, affected Chen Shujing.
His one-sided attempts at reconciliation would only trouble Ah Yao.
’Today is my mother-in-law’s birthday,’ he thought. ’I shouldn’t go and upset them.’
He wouldn’t give up on Ah Yao, but he needed to think of a different way to win her back.
He ordered his attendant, "Take the gift inside."
The Xue Family’s residence was small, with only one person at the gate who was no match for Chen Shujing’s attendant.
Seeing them deliver the items anyway, Xue Xingyao’s face turned ashen.
’We’re already divorced, what is Chen Shujing trying to do by dragging this out?’
’Who cares about this stuff?’
Ling was still little, at that age where she loved to open gift boxes. She furtively reached out a small hand.
Her mother grabbed her chubby little hand, and the little one gave a forced smile.
She blew a spit bubble. "No want~"
Seeing that even a child found the gifts distasteful, Xue Xingyao ordered coldly, "Throw them out!"
