Free Web NovelChapter 198: Chapter 198: Never Appear Again
The day Pei Yan crashed her wedding, he’d lost control in the bridal chamber, claiming to be her husband.
At the time, Mei Wanying hadn’t given it much thought, simply assuming he was mad.
He mentioned this status several times later, but she just thought Pei Yan was stubbornly clinging to the wedding he had stolen.
But now, seeing this golden hairpin and recalling all his inexplicable confessions, Mei Wanying finally understood.
What he was clinging to so stubbornly wasn’t this wedding, but the hasty one from their past life.
No wonder he always considered himself the son-in-law of the Mei family and spoke of it with such conviction.
That wedding was the source of his confidence. In Pei Yan’s mind, they were husband and wife.
Pei Yan’s change had been too drastic, and now all his strange behavior had an answer.
Their bond ran too deep; Mei Wanying knew Pei Yan’s character and temper.
His guilt couldn’t be this heavy based on the events of this life alone.
’He would have shoved this golden hairpin in my face and demanded to know why I’d thrown away his gift.’
’He would have forced it back into my hand and ordered me never to throw it away again.’
But he hadn’t done that.
If she hadn’t seen the box, perhaps Pei Yan would have hidden this from her forever.
After they had reconciled this time, he had become racked with anxiety, always waking with a start in the night. He would have to hold her, kiss her, and confirm again and again that she was still there.
She had tried everything, but nothing could dispel Pei Yan’s unease.
Once, Pei Yan had even checked her breathing, murmuring in a relieved tone that she was still alive and well.
From the day he crashed her wedding, Pei Yan’s words and actions had been abnormal.
As the person who knew him best, Mei Wanying realized belatedly that she had truly overlooked so many details.
Looking again at the man, who was now trembling with fear, what was there for Mei Wanying not to understand?
’My guess was right!’
Her eyes filled with tears, and Mei Wanying’s voice rose. "Leave my house, and never show your face again!"
Mei Wanying had told herself over and over that the Pei Yan of this life was not the same person who had hurt her in the last.
’I can’t hold him accountable for that.’
But the truth had just slapped her in the face.
The Pei Yan before her *was* the one who had hurt her!
How was she supposed to face this?
He knew everything, so of course he understood why she had left the capital.
Why she was no longer fixated on him.
Yet he said nothing, instead scheming painstakingly to lure her back.
’How can such a despicable person exist in this world?’
Mei Wanying’s eyes were bloodshot, and tears streamed down her cheeks like pearls from a broken string, impossible to stop.
Each crystalline teardrop seemed to smash against Pei Yan’s heart, causing him such unbearable pain that even breathing became difficult.
"Ah Yin, I didn’t mean to hide this from you."
Fear engulfed him. Pei Yan’s limbs went weak, and his mind was a chaotic mess.
He explained incoherently, "I was going to confess to you. I just hadn’t figured out how to bring it up."
"Ah Yin, believe me, I never intended to deceive you."
He stepped forward, cautiously reaching for Mei Wanying’s hand, but the moment he touched her, she violently flung it away.
The corners of Pei Yan’s eyes were scarlet as he stared helplessly at Mei Wanying.
He didn’t dare force her. He didn’t know what to do to make Ah Yin forgive him.
Mei Wanying’s eyes held a finality. "Never show up again. I don’t want to see you!" frёewebnoѵel.ƈo๓
Seeing him brought back all the memories she had deliberately tried to forget, making them sharp and clear once more.
She felt so wronged.
And it hurt so much!
An indescribable storm of emotions raged inside her. Mei Wanying’s breathing grew heavy, her chest heaving violently.
Her fair hand braced against the corner of the table. The color drained from her face, and the emotional turmoil was so great that her body swayed, on the verge of collapsing.
Pei Yan surged forward again, pulling Mei Wanying forcefully into his embrace. "Ah Yin, I’m the one who’s wronged you. Hit me, curse me, do whatever you want."
"I’m begging you, don’t send me away."
’Those words again.’
Mei Wanying finally understood the source of his anxiety.
He knew exactly what he had done to her, which was why he was so insecure.
She stopped struggling, her beautiful eyes filled with a deathly stillness. "Pei Yan, don’t force me to hate you."
The man’s body stiffened. ’Then hate me, as long as you stay by my side.’
But he had once had Ah Yin’s love. Just a short while ago, they had been so intimate. He couldn’t bear her hatred.
He didn’t want Mei Wanying to hate him.
He only wanted Mei Wanying’s love!
The arms holding Mei Wanying trembled before finally losing all their strength.
The man looked at her, his eyes pleading. "Ah Yin, don’t abandon me."
Grasping at his last straw, Pei Yan said urgently, "Lingling hasn’t had her choosing ceremony yet. We agreed we’d spend the whole day with our child."
Mei Wanying averted her gaze, tear tracks still visible on her lovely face. "Don’t show up again. I don’t want to be reminded of that agonizing past over and over."
Finally, she looked up at Pei Yan. "If you want to see me in pain, then by all means, stay."
She pushed Pei Yan away and strode quickly out of the main room.
Just like before, she left without a backward glance.
The sword hanging over his head had finally fallen. Pei Yan stared blankly in the direction Mei Wanying had gone.
His palms were empty.
His heart was empty, too, as if a piece had been brutally carved out.
It hurt.
It hurt so much he felt the urge to cry.
Pei Yan stared at his empty palms. Just that morning, he had been holding Ah Yin in his arms.
They had agreed to hold a warm first-birthday banquet for Ling.
No guests, just a nice meal for their family.
They had also said that the next time he came to Jiangnan, Ah Yin would meet him at the city gates.
He had been dizzy with happiness, never imagining it would be so fleeting.
’Ah Yin... she’s abandoned me again...’
Pei Yan bent down and picked up the golden hairpin that had fallen on the floor.
This was Ah Yin’s nightmare, but it was his nightmare, too.
Whenever he saw this hairpin, he would remember the lifeless look on Ah Yin’s face.
’An object like this should probably be at the bottom of a pond, never to see the light of day again.’
But he had kept it with him. He was the one who had made the mistake; it had nothing to do with this inanimate object.
*He* was the one who brought Ah Yin nightmares.
’Now that she’s discovered the secret, she wants nothing to do with me ever again...’
A warm liquid spilled from his eyes, dripping onto the floor. It left a faint, blurry mark before quickly vanishing.
He was the culprit behind it all. Pei Yan didn’t even have the right to feel wronged.
The man’s expression was lost. ’What should I do? How can I make Ah Yin truly forgive me?’
Pei Yan couldn’t bear to be separated from Mei Wanying, but the sight of her crying reminded him of their past life.
After marrying him, Ah Yin had always been crying. She hadn’t known a single day of peace.
She had truly suffered so much.
Today, she cried again.
Pei Yan could cast aside his pride and pester Mei Wanying relentlessly, but he couldn’t bear to see her cry.
What on earth was he supposed to do?
How could he go on living without Mei Wanying?
The pain was too much. The man couldn’t help but let out a soft cough, the familiar taste of iron rising in his throat.
Wei Jue arrived with the seal for the choosing ceremony. Pei Yan had carved it himself, making it extraordinarily meaningful.
Just moments ago, Pei Yan had been in the study discussing matters and had ordered Wei Jue to fetch it for Mei Wanying to see.
Wei Jue rushed over with the item, but instead of finding Mei Wanying, he saw his master coughing up blood again.
His face changed instantly.
’Didn’t the Imperial Physician say the last of the poison had been cleared?’
Before he could say a word, he saw the man walking out, looking completely dejected.
"Emperor?"
Pei Yan said nothing, as if he had lost his very soul.
He staggered out on unsteady feet, his back no longer straight, his shoulders slumped. His entire being radiated an aura of despair.
