Free Web NovelChapter 194: Chapter 194: Living Apart
Pei Yan talked a big game, but in reality, when it came to *that*, his experience was negligible.
From start to finish, he had only ever been with one woman: Mei Wanying.
The only experience he had was what he’d explored with her.
Even though they already had Ling, the number of times he and Mei Wanying had been intimate could be counted on one hand. freewёbn૦νeɭ.com
’It seems I haven’t figured out much from it...’
Now that Ling was a full year old, a very, very long time had passed since that one time in the study.
If not for his constant dreams, where he reviewed it over and over, he might not be any different from an inexperienced young lad.
Thinking about it, Pei Yan couldn’t help but feel a pang of bitterness.
After that night in the study, Ah Yin’s attitude had turned cold. She’d wished she could be as far from him as possible, unwilling to even speak another word to him.
He went to the Border, and Ah Yin returned to Jiangnan.
He had been so stupid back then, thinking that by leaving the Jade Pendant, Ah Yin would understand his intentions.
That she would obediently wait for his return.
Then they would get married, have many children, and never fight again.
Many things happened after that, and only then did he realize with a jolt that Ah Yin truly wanted to leave him.
No matter what he did, she was unwilling to look back.
Every time they met, the look in Ah Yin’s eyes was cold and indifferent, devoid of any of their past affection.
Only in his dreams was Ah Yin willing to accept him.
Now, the woman he loved was in his arms, and that heart-trembling feeling swept over him once again.
Pei Yan couldn’t help but tighten his embrace on Mei Wanying, his hard chest pressing firmly against her back.
His arm rested on her waist, holding her tightly in his arms.
’It still isn’t enough.’
He forcefully pulled her closer to him.
He wished he could merge with Mei Wanying, bone and blood, and never be separated.
"Ah Yin."
"Mm?"
"Ah Yin," the man called again, as if he could never say her name enough.
With each call, he would peck a kiss on her earlobe, her neck...
Pei Yan held her tightly, but every kiss was gentle.
He was terrified of hurting Mei Wanying.
He was very clingy, even more so than that time he was drunk.
Mei Wanying’s cheeks grew hot, and her earlobes burned. Her heart raced and her breath grew short, as if she were about to catch fire.
In this matter, she was just like Pei Yan, with little experience.
Before, it had happened in a daze. This time was different; they were both completely sober.
Mei Wanying didn’t know how to react, so she could only shut her eyes tightly.
"Ah Yin..."
The man called her name again.
Those two syllables, coming from his lips, carried an inexplicable tenderness.
Overcome with shyness, Mei Wanying gave Pei Yan a light kick, snapping, "Shut up!"
"Why?"
He was only calling Ah Yin’s name, not saying anything inappropriate.
Not even allowed to say her name, the man’s tone was melancholic. "Don’t forget, I’m your man. In this world, only I can call you by your name."
Mei Wanying deliberately contradicted him. "Mother and Ah Yao also call me that."
Pei Yan stressed, "Other men aren’t allowed to."
’Other men...’
Mei Wanying almost laughed out loud.
’I really don’t know what goes on in his head to even think of those two words!’
His tone was full of possessiveness with a hint of sourness, and Mei Wanying was suddenly reminded of the word ’jealous’.
She huffed, "You’re just a kept man, you have no right to talk back."
A half-smile played on Pei Yan’s lips. "Mm," he said. "I won’t talk back."
And he really did shut his mouth.
Under the quilt, his hands fumbled and untied the sash of Mei Wanying’s clothes.
The air grew thick and scorching...
The room was pitch-black; you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.
Mei Wanying’s eyes were open, but she couldn’t see a thing.
With her sight useless, her senses of hearing and touch became exceptionally sharp.
The man’s calloused fingertips meticulously measured every inch of her skin.
Something was rapidly breaking through the surface, showing signs of losing control.
Mei Wanying clutched the pillow, her heart pounding like a drum. She could clearly feel that this time was different from before.
There was no mutual hurting.
No competing against each other.
Every subtle sensation was worlds apart from what it used to be.
’This feeling... it’s so unfamiliar.’
Mei Wanying bit her lip tightly, afraid of letting any embarrassing sounds escape.
’He’s not that horrid Pei Yan from before,’ a voice in her heart told her. ’What’s the harm in taking it a step further?’
The man enveloped the hand she had clutching the pillow. His posture was firm as he interlaced their fingers.
"Ah Yin, may I?"
The man’s tall frame loomed over her, his gaze burning, as he waited for her to give the command.
Mei Wanying couldn’t see, yet she felt as if his gaze was searing right through her.
Her cheeks grew even hotter.
"Hypocrite!"
That was her assessment.
Pei Yan chuckled softly. "Alright, I won’t ask anymore."
He placatingly kissed Mei Wanying’s eyes and brow. "You can bite me."
Mei Wanying froze for a moment before she understood what he meant.
Recalling certain moments, her legs inexplicably felt a little weak.
Not wanting Pei Yan to get too cocky, Mei Wanying lifted her chin. "You think you’re so great?"
Pei Yan: "..."
Mei Wanying: "You’re overthinking it."
Pei Yan: "..."
In front of the woman he loves, every man has his vanity.
Pei Yan was no exception.
’Did I not perform well before? Is that why Ah Yin has no expectations for me?’ He suddenly felt a little insecure.
The darkness didn’t affect Pei Yan’s vision. Seeing Mei Wanying’s calm expression, it didn’t look like she was lying.
The man’s heart sank with sorrow.
And a little trepidation.
He was afraid his upcoming performance wouldn’t be satisfactory.
’I finally managed to get the title of ’kept man.’ If I don’t serve Ah Yin well, when will I ever be promoted to the main position?’
Pei Yan began to doubt himself.
But he didn’t show it, only saying stubbornly, "Fine. I guess I don’t have to hold back."
Mei Wanying: "..."
’Pei Yan has practiced martial arts since childhood. His constitution is far beyond that of a normal person. It would be quite nice if he held back a little...’
She wanted to say something, but the man had already lowered his head, blocking her chance to speak.
At that critical moment, the sound of Ling’s crying faintly drifted in from the next room.
Mei Wanying pushed against the man’s shoulders. "Go check on her."
The child was still sick. How could Pei Yan dare to dawdle?
There was no third person in the room, nor were there any lamps lit, but he was still quick to wrap Mei Wanying up in the quilt.
"Don’t fall asleep yet. I’ll be back after I soothe Lingling."
Mei Wanying: "..."
The man put on his clothes and strode quickly toward the room where the crying came from.
Mei Wanying secretly sighed in relief.
She touched her burning cheeks. If Ling hadn’t cried, she and Pei Yan would have... done *that* again.
Although she had relented and decided to give Pei Yan a chance, Mei Wanying still hadn’t made it clear to him that she was unwilling to return to the Capital City.
Nor would she be his Empress.
If he were to take a wife and concubines, they would cut off all contact for good.
In other words, she and Pei Yan would live apart. He would be in the Capital City, and she would be in Jiangnan.
She would not take on the responsibilities of being Pei Yan’s wife.
They could raise Ling together, and they could have a physical relationship.
If Pei Yan wanted to be with her, he could not take a wife or concubines.
The moment he had women in his Harem, their relationship would be over.
Pei Yan was the New Emperor. Matters of marriage involved the court and the Harem. Mei Wanying wasn’t trying to force his hand.
She just didn’t want to return to the Capital, didn’t want to personally sever her own path of retreat.
Pei Yan could back out at any time. He was the sovereign, the Lord of the Nine and Five, and he had the confidence to start over.
But she was different.
One wrong step, and she would be doomed beyond redemption.
Mei Wanying would not go back to the Capital City. She would not place the rest of her life in someone else’s hands.
That was truly dangerous.
Call her selfish, call her unreasonable, it didn’t matter. This was her plan.
If Pei Yan couldn’t accept it, then they would go back to how they were.
They would just be strangers from then on!
Mei Wanying let out a breath and patted her hot cheeks again, trying to chase away the restless, strange feeling in her body.
Before she made things clear, she and Pei Yan should not have gone that far.
Pei Yan was a free man; he had the right to choose. No matter what he chose, Mei Wanying would be able to understand.
She would lay her cards on the table. If Pei Yan couldn’t accept it, then he could leave.
That was perfectly fair!
