Free Web NovelChapter 15: 015
~ ROSELLE ~
I’m scared. Hell... I’m fucking terrified. Why wouldn’t I be when that girl already walks in and reminds me exactly how I’m going to end up dead?
I try to sweet-talk myself into believing he’s kind... that he’s nothing like Warren and my former pack. I try every sane reason to convince myself, but there’s no logical explanation strong enough for me to hold on to the idea that Ronan wants to save me because he loves me for me.
There isn’t. She mentions his brides-to-be who are women with stronger genes, women who can talk, women who are better princesses than I’ll ever be.
And hell yeah, they end up dead. They fucking do.
There’s no possible way in the universe that all he feels for me is anything more than some twisted, drawn-up need for a bride. Because what am I? Nothing but a mute who’s useless. And if I add murderer to the list...
Hell. I don’t even know what that makes me anymore.
Like I’m sinking deeper into my fears, I’m certain it’s all going to end the same way it does with Warren. That’s how the fucking game keeps circling back.
Dad dies, and I’m smothered with pity. People always look at me with those sad eyes, reminding me every day that I wasn’t the cause, that I was just a child.
Those looks of pity that tell me I’m not at fault and shouldn’t be taking the blame for something I didn’t do. The care that makes me feel so fucking helpless. The guilt burns deep inside me, like I’m being seared with a fucking iron.
Every fucking bit of it makes me despise myself.
And then the sudden switch comes; The hate. The rumors spreading around that I’m a murderer, and the looks people give me in return... like I’ve committed some unforgivable crime. Those scorching stares that feel like they’re burning straight through my skin.
The blame, being accused of my parents’ deaths. Being told how unfortunate and cursed I am, reminded that Mom dies giving birth to a cursed child like me, and that I end up burning my father alive.
Every word sinks its claws deeper and deeper into me until I can’t contain it anymore, spreading through every part of me like a sickness I can’t cut out, can’t outrun, can’t escape, and then the punishment follows. frёeωebɳovel.com
The voices in my head are loud, questions piling up while memories I’ve fought so hard to bury keep resurfacing. This might end up being the same fucking cycle all over again.
Ronan is all over me, trying to feed me, trying to take care of me, showing every act of kindness possible, the pity, the concern. All of it.
His voice. Those soft looks in his eyes that tell me he isn’t the demon they paint him to be.
I believe it. By the goddess, I do. But I’d be stupid. I’d be fucking stupid if I lean on it.
It would only be a matter of time before these gestures, this softness, this tenderness eventually switch up... especially when he finds out about the real me. About what I did.
That’s enough to end me quickly. Warren was nice once, the young little boy who always gave me flowers, played alongside me, and dreamed of us running the pack together one day. I remember believing him, believing every smile and every promise because back then it never crossed my mind that people could change so completely.
Until the switch comes.
The same hands that once wiped away my tears are the ones whipping my back. The same boy who used to bring me flowers is the one holding a candle over my skin, watching the wax burn deep enough to leave marks behind. Every strike of the whip tears into me, every punishment coming one after another until I lose count of them. Those same eyes that once looked at me with kindness never hesitate when it comes to hurting me, and no matter how much I scream or cry, it never stops.
That’s what terrifies me the most. I know how quickly kindness turns into hatred. I know how concern turns into disgust. I know how easily people stop seeing me as a person and start seeing me as a curse, as a murderer, as the reason everything around me falls apart.
And if Warren can change, if the boy who once swears he’d spend the rest of his life beside me can become the person I fear most, then what’s stopping Ronan from doing the exact same thing?
Mara, as he calls her, is right. I need to escape, but where do I go? Where do I run? I don’t have a fucking place to go.
Going back to my pack only means getting locked up... or being dragged right back to Ronan.
Why does fate have to make me end up this way? I need to fight back for my pack. The pack needs me, even if they hate me, even if they blame me, even if I’m nothing more than a cursed reminder of everything they’ve lost.
They’re still my people. And if there’s even the slightest chance that I can do something to help them, then I have to try.
Breakfast is done, my stomach full from Ronan feeding me, even though the bitter voice in the back of my head keeps whispering to enjoy it while it lasts. Enjoy your time now, because when he turns against you, don’t forget any of this.
I try coming up with several excuses to stop him from feeding me, but he doesn’t listen. Every protest dies on my tongue before it can go anywhere, and somehow he keeps finding a way around it. If I look away, he waits. If I hesitate, he pretends not to notice. If I try to take the spoon from him, he simply gives me that stubborn look that tells me he’s already made up his mind.
It’s ridiculous. No one has ever taken care of me like this before.
Yet, he acts as though feeding me breakfast is the most natural thing in the world, as though I’m not a burden sitting across from him, or some broken thing he should have grown tired of by now.
And that’s why it scares me so much, because, honestly, a part of me wants to enjoy this. A part of me wants to lean into it and let myself believe that those gentle looks are real, that the concern in his voice isn’t forced, and that the hand brushing against mine isn’t part of some elaborate act. I want to believe that, for once, someone’s kindness doesn’t come with an expiration date attached to it. But I’ve believed in kindness before, and look where that gets me.
The pinging of Ronan’s phone makes me blink back to reality. He holds up a hand before glancing at the screen. "Please excuse me, I need to take this."
I nod, and he answers the call.
It’s easy to see the change in him almost immediately. The soft expression he wears around me disappears, replaced by a hard, tight frown. His jaw twitches, a clear sign that whatever the person on the other end is saying isn’t good news.
He rises to his feet and paces a few strides away, one hand dragging through his hair.
"I’ll be there in a few minutes," he says before hanging up.
When he turns back to me, those stormy gray eyes meet mine, and I catch the flash of anger there before he tries to bury it.
"I’ll be back in a few hours. I have an important meeting to attend to. If you need company, I can ask Celeste to stay with you, and Elias will be here later."
I shake my head, signing. "I’m fine. I’ll be fine alone."
The answer earns me a wary look, one that tells me he doesn’t want to leave, but whatever just happened doesn’t give him much of a choice.
"Are you sure?" he asks again.
I nod. "Sure. I’ll be fine and right here."
A sigh leaves me. He pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a breath of relief. "Okay. I’ll be back."
I watch him walk toward the door, only for him to glance back at me one last time, as though making sure I’ll still be here when he returns.
Then he finally leaves, the door clicking shut behind him.
For several long seconds, I continue staring at the spot where he stood, half expecting him to walk back in and tell me he changed his mind.
But he doesn’t. And when enough time passes for that hope to die, I finally let out a slow breath.
I need to run. I know it sounds stupid, and reckless, maybe even impossible, but I fucking need to leave to anywhere possible. Maybe a nearby pack, a random town, or some forgotten corner of the world where nobody knows my name.
My pulse pounds as I push myself to my feet and walk toward the window.
The windows is secured, with a burgalry raised up so highand escaping through it is impossible. The only possible way out is the door, right now.
I stare at it, my mind racing.
